Enlightenment

Thank you, this is
a crushing enlightenment. 
I thought it would come, 
but still, I’m shocked and numb.
 
It hurts though,
between the numbness 
it’s an ache, no, a throb, 
burning behind my eyes.
 
And breathing,
it’s now painful,
no longer the smooth
unknowing action.

It’s hard,
I stop for a moment,
and then I feel
everything pull.

My body needing
but my mind too full
of you, us.
I don’t know how to stop.

I need something,
A sign, I suppose,
Something to stop it all.
I asked you.

But met no reply. 
So this is how I’m left, 
again, unknowing. 
Waiting with tears.