“You’re nuts. Mrs. Claus is in complete control. The only reason Santa flies around in the sleigh is because Mrs. Claus needs sleep after working the entire year for this one night. She makes him do it and he probably whines the whole time.” I counter.
Then in my best mock whining voice I continue “It’s coooold, it’s snowinggg, where’s the hot chocolate, my coat is too tight, I need a naaap! Seriously? The reindeer do all the real work.”
“Maybe, but when’s the last time you had 200 kids sit on your lap and tell you they want an iPad?”
“Oh my God, really? You’re going to try that argument? Every night you beg me to sit on your lap and bounce up and down for an hour and now when a thirty pound kid wants a picture with Santa you complain. I weigh a lot more than most kids.” suddenly stopping “Don’t say it. I know what you’re thinking, just don’t say it, I do not have a fat ass.”
“Well, in my world Santa rules the North Pole and all the sexy little elven women work in stockings, bras and panties. It’s really a very nice place to be.”
“Let me guess. Santa gets to fool around with all the elven women whenever he wants. Right?” I ask.
“um, well, have you ever thought about fooling around with Santa?”
“I wouldn’t put Santa on my ‘free fuck list’ if that’s what you’re asking but you’re looking kind of cute all dressed up.” I say with a bite of my lip and a little eyebrow wiggle.
“Why don’t you climb on Santa’s lap and tell me what you really want for Christmas.” Jason said.
With a big smile on my face and a laugh I continue “You’re joking right? We tried that and you couldn’t keep your eyes open when you came. We almost rolled the truck.”
“I could keep my eyes open just fine. I just couldn’t see because you were blocking my view.”
“uhuh. Again with that tired excuse!” I tease.
“Well,” Jason stuttered “I can think of something else you could do. Santa really likes it, too.”
“Oh my God” laughing and shaking my head. “Wait, wait, wait, wait. I want to make sure I get this right. I think I just heard Santa ask me to give him a blowjob!”
“Well, you won’t be blocking my view of the road.” Jason said with a snicker.
Smiling and looking up through my lashes I say “Make sure you stay on the road. If you don’t you might come up a little short.”
I removed my seat-belt and slid over on the seat. I kissed Santa’s bearded face and lowered my head into his lap. I then ran into a little problem.
“Where is your penis? I can’t find it.”
I know the general location but between the belt, the type of pants, the coat and the pillow stuffing I couldn’t locate Santa’s penis.
Jason reached into his pants and freed his already erect penis.
I couldn’t help but smile as Jason did this and said “I can hardly see it with all this stuffing. It’s so little. It’s cute. Look at it.”
Jason said “Cute? Little? Do not call my penis little or cute and I can’t see it, my stomachs in the way.”
I attempted to take Jason in my mouth but I could only get my lips on the very tip. I started to take him into my mouth and his pillow pushed my head into the steering wheel causing the horn to honk. After doing this a few times I removed Jason’s pillow and threw it in the back.
“This should work better.”
I opened my mouth as wide as I could and lowered my mouth around his penis without touching him. I then closed my lips and slid them all the way to the tip. I swirled my tongue around the tip and caressed the opening and tasted his pre-cum. I then caressed the rim of his penis with my lips. Slowly going up and down over the rim and then up to the tip.
Jason’s hand was on the back of my head and was softly pressing me down. I took him into my mouth slowly letting him feel my lips as I took more and more of him. Jason’s penis was hot on my tongue and the skin was soft on my lips. I started to slide my mouth up and down the full length of his shaft quicker and quicker.
I took as much of him in my mouth as I could and held him there. I started to suck and ease off and repeatedly did this until Jason cried out “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
He started to cum. His hot cum was pulsing into my mouth. I could feel it wrapping around my tongue and pooling against my lips.
I squeezed my lips tight to his cock and slid my mouth up to the tip and finally off. I swallowed the creamy liquid and took him back in my mouth.
“You have got to be kidding me. Fuck. Stop, stop. I’m serious. The cops are behind us.” Jason half yelled.
“Good Evening, sir. Are you aware you were swerving down the road.” the officer asked.
“Oh, I’m sorry officer. I spilled coffee in my lap and then the cup fell on the floor. I was trying to pick it up.” Jason lied.
“Can you explain why I saw an elves hat moving in your lap?”
“Oh, my girlfriend was trying to pick it up.” Jason again lied.
“Okay, it’s Christmas Eve. I’m not going to give you a ticket but I have to ask. Did I just pull over a truck where an elf was giving Santa Claus some Christmas cheer?” the police officer asked.
Jason didn’t say a word. He was frozen.
With a smile I said “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it Christmas cheer officer but what Santa was getting he seemed to really like.”
The officer smiled and turned to leave and said “I guess it’s not true what they say. Santa doesn’t always cum down the chimney.”
“Classy, officer, tasteful, very tasteful.” I said.
“Well, I think only you would know that.” The officer called back to me, got in his car and drove off.
I was left sitting there with both of my hands over my face and shaking my head.
“We will never have any sort of sex in the car again. Now drive.” I commanded “Never again.”