I want to start off by saying that all of this story is true. Its written as it was lived. I changed the names to protect the secrets of those written here. I wanted the story to start with the losing of my virginity because of what it meant to me that day. I loved her more than anyone in my whole life. I wanted to tell that story before telling the rest of the story. After what’s to come it may change your persepsion of the prologue. I hope it doesn’t because she is my life and always was. This story is about my love for Katie.
The beginning of this story starts at puberty. I start this story in the most embarrassing time of my life for two reasons.
One: That when it comes down to it both sexes really don’t understand what the others go through during puberty. I attribute this to the fact that there are so many questions are hard to ask someone and even harder to answer honestly. I mean who really wants to talk about the most embarrassing moments of childhood?
Two: Most of the problems I had during that time can all be traced back to constant masturbation. With out anyone to talk to I had to take this journey on my own. Hiding and ashamed thinking there was something wrong with me. I have to start this story at puberty because with out going through what I did in that time period I would never have met Katie. I can’t speak for all guys out there but for me it all started with that dumb ass song.
I was 12 years old when that song started playing on the radio. Now keep in mind that when I was 12 it was the 1980s and we didn’t have the internet yet. Meaning we didn’t have very easy access to the amount of pornography that is abundant today. In my time we had to get by on what we could find and what our imagination could fill in to get our selves off.
On that note when I was 12 they started playing the song on the radio. It was a slow song sang by the queen of pop, in which she sings about justifying sex. I don’t want to say any titles for fear of lawsuit but hopefully you can get which one I’m talking about from that clue. Any way I was smack dab in the middle of that lovely time period for boys when you start getting spontaneous erections and you don’t yet know how to control them.
For some unknown reason that song would get my motor running. I don’t know what it was about it for sure, just that her voice would cause me to BOING, as it were. It wasn’t like that was the only time I would get them it would happen in class or when watching tv at home, or when it was generally most inconvenient as possible. The only time I could predict when they would come was with that song playing. That didn’t make any sense to me either, I didn’t find that pop whore attractive at all. The boys at school had shown me a picture of her topless once and I didn’t really find her attractive.
At that point in my life I had a huge crush on me step mom’s cousin’s daughter. Her name was Beth and she was 11 years old. I wasn’t into older women I was just fine with girls my own age like Beth. So yet again I don’t know why that song had such power over me. Beth was the only girl I had ever really been into at that time. I liked girls but I didn’t find many I really wanted to try to be with. I was to shy anyway. I didn’t think I had the nerve to ask one out if I wanted to. I think that’s why I hung on to the idea of liking Beth. I would never be aloud to date her because we were considered family.
In the early days I would pop up and I didn’t know what to do. I would sit where ever and hope know one would notice. I would cross my legs and try to think of something else. These were some of the worst times of my life. If you only got erections when sitting alone in the dark then it wouldn’t be life. Life has to kick you when it’s most inconvenient.
I’d be sitting in class and a the girl next to me would be wearing a skirt and that’s all it would take for lift off. But everyone has heard that story before of the poor boy called to the black board while trying to suppress himself. But it’s worst then that. It would happen while watching tv with your grand parents. It would happen in church. It would happen at the super market. It would happen at the park or the movies. It would happen to some boys in the locker room. Luckily that wasn’t me. What the other boys did to that kid was bad.
That’s another thing, the other boys would prank you if you popped up in the locker room but they would also harass you mercilessly for being to small. Again I’m glad I wasn’t that boy either. What they did to him was almost as bad.
With things popping up all the time it was almost like living in fear. I was on guard all the time. I didn’t want anyone to know it was happening. My parents didn’t really talk to me about sex, so at first I didn’t really know why it was happening. All I really knew about sex was that the guy puts his into hers. From there it was all a big mystery. My step mom was catholic and sex was not a topic of conversation. When anything was ever spoken in our house it was talked about from her as if it was an evil act and you were a bad person for doing it.
When it first started happening I was trying to figured out what was wrong with me and what was causing it. I thought if I could figure out what I was doing wrong that it would stop happening. Of course that didn’t work.
One day after school I was watching video’s on the local music channel and the video for that stupid song came on. I went into full lift off in a way that I hadn’t before. I sat there unable to change the channel and staring at the screen the whole time trying to make it go away. It wouldn’t. I was upset that slut pop star was half naked in this video and it was that song. As much as I didn’t like her the video was sexy and we didn’t have porn access then. You had to take what you could get.
After 20 minutes my erection was still strong as ever. I knew my family would be home soon, there was no way I could get caught with this going on. My step mom would want to know what I had been watching and doing. She would assume that I had been being bad and I would be in trouble.
Getting desperate I unzipped my pants and tried to push on it. Ok I understand how ridiculous that sounds but I really did at the time think that pushing on it would do something.
I had grown up thinking it wasn’t ok to touch yourself at all. I should say with only two exceptions if I was peeing or cleaning it with in the bath. I literally thought I would get in trouble if some one found out that I touched it. So it’s not a exaggeration that I literally never touched myself at all. It sounds so laughable now but I thought that pushing on it that day would get me in trouble.
However I didn’t know what I was doing and I started pushing it down hoping it would go away. I didn’t want anyone to come home while I was tenting my pants. I wasn’t sure what I thought the reaction would be I was just scared. As I was pushing on it I realized that I was bigger then I had ever seen myself. That was weird, looking at it in that state really for the first time. It felt weird looking at it. I started having a weird felling as I was pushing on it, not knowing why I began to rub it a little. It felt really good. I was sitting there rubbing it and feeling really ashamed at the same time. I really felt in my head that I was doing something wrong. I was in such a bad person for touching it, but I couldn’t stop. After a couple minutes I tried putting my hand around it. This felt better but there was something still not quite right about it.
I was sitting there stroking it for the first time feeling better then I had felt before yet inside I was upset. I felt guilty for liking the feeling. I mean I really felt guilty and started getting jumpy. I froze every time I heard a noise. I knew about ejaculate only in the sense that’s what made babies. I wasn’t ready for it the first time. I popped out on my hand and it was over. I sat there for less then a minute before the guilt overtook me. OH MY GOD what did I just do? Trying not to get my own stuff on me I zipped up one handed and ran to the kitchen, I was still washing my hands when my step mom came home.
I was so guilty that I couldn’t look at her all night. I felt like if I looked at her she would know and I would get in trouble for touching it. I would be belt whipped and grounded not to mention the embarrassment of her knowing. If she knew she would look down on me forever. I was so ashamed about what I had done that over the next couple weeks I would get erections and I went back to crossing my legs and preying they went away.
It was a few weeks after the first time I had stoked myself, that the parents had gone away for the weekend. I got left at a friends house because they felt I was to young to be left home for 48 hours alone. I was awake in the middle of the night when I turned on the tv keeping the volume as low as possible. The family had cable with a cable box, this was something cool to me because we didn’t get all the extra channels. I know some of you already know where this is going but some pay channels show soft core porn movies in the middle of the night.
On this particular night they were showing a skin flick. The movie was some poorly written peace of crap that had a number of girls running around half naked. I hadn’t seen anything like this before. I was hard in an instant, drooling on myself. I was embarrassed because I was at someone else’s house and I didn’t want them to walk in. I started caressing myself with out thinking, I reached into my pants and started stroking it. Looking at real boobs it only took a minute. I was feeling guilty and ashamed more then ever but a light bulb went off in my head.
I realized two things at that moment. One, that it felt good and no one needed to know as long as I could hide it. Two, that jerking it made it go away right away. I hadn’t realized that the first time because I had already been erect for 20 minutes before I started stroking the first time, and I had felt so ashamed when it was over that it hadn’t clued in.
These revelations were both a blessing and a curse. The blessing came in the form of sexual relief, the curse was the fact that now I wasn’t just getting spontaneous erections all the time, I was now masturbating all the time. My guilt and shame were so strong that I felt like I was going to get found out any minute and in my mind that would be the end of the world. But I still couldn’t stop now.
When I say I was doing it all the time, I mean ALL the time. This was a really big summer for that dumb ass song, and considering that the song was tied into my first time with myself it really set off my erections. When I say all the time I’m not exaggerating. It started out every day after school from the time I got home until my family got home from work. Then moved on to after school and in bed at night. That was taking a big risk, doing it with other people in the house could get me caught. I would be quiet in my room and freak out if I heard some one start walking around. By the end of the summer it became when ever I was alone in a room and thought I could get away with it. I had some really close calls. One afternoon my step mom just walked into my room a few seconds after I had just tucked myself back into my shorts. I literally still had the cum on my hand as the door opened. I slid my hand under my pillow and wiped it off with her yapping at me about what ever she was pissy about that day.
From there I started taking more risks. For some reason the feeling of cuming started becoming more important then getting caught. Don’t get me wrong I was still mortified by the idea that someone would find out. I still felt guilty and ashamed about it but I still couldn’t stop taking bigger risks. I really don’t know how I didn’t get caught. Just dumb luck and loose shorts.
The risks started out small. I was in our fenced back yard one after noon listening to the radio and that song came on. I sat in the lawn chair and did it out in the open in the back yard. That became a regular thing when the parents weren’t home. I mean I could have been caught by anyone looking through a knot hole in the wood. Eventually I would do this even if the parents were home. I could hear them walking and thought could pull my shorts leg down really fast if they came outside.
From there I moved on to jerking it in public. It was the next natural step in some ways. It started once when I was waiting in the car at the super market and the song came on the radio. I got hard really fast. I looked around the car really quickly to make sure no one was standing right outside, unzipped my pants. I pulled myself completely out and started jerking it right there. I was so scared and thrilled at the same time. I was doing it in public and it felt so good. It only took a couple minutes because of the fear of getting caught. I finished and looked up to see my parents walking out of the store at that moment.
I was a 12 year old monster, out of control and insane. My risks were large, my shame was huge and I couldn’t stop. I hated myself for this. I really thought I had some kind of sick problem because I couldn’t stop. Now this is the point of all this, I didn’t have anyone I felt I could talk to. I couldn’t tell anyone I was doing this. How do you talk to some one about something like that? Who would understand? I mean this is something forbidden and taboo, I could never admit to another single person that I did this. I really thought at the time no body else did it themselves. At least not good normal people. So with no understanding things just progressed worse and I had to live with myself as bad as I was. If I was out in public shopping I often would slip away from my step mom and pretend that I was trying on clothes so I could go into a changing room and jerk myself right there in the store. It was thrilling on some level to hear the people in the store talking and they had no idea what I was doing in the booth.
As I became 13 things didn’t slow down. I had learned to live with it. I no longer felt guilty or ashamed by it anymore, yet it was still my biggest secret and fear of getting found out. I had just come to the realization that I wasn’t going to stop. As bad of a person as it made me and I was becoming. I just rolled with it and continued taking bigger risks. It moved on to things like doing it while sitting alone at a bench at the park.
I was sitting by myself watching this girl about my age in the distance, she was pretty but it was the fact that she was wearing shorts and had tan legs that had my attention. I was in the party pavilion which was a covered area with benches, four short walls with open corners and about four or five barbeques. I was behind a short wall watching her through the gap. I was hard looking at her. This wasn’t the first time just looking at a girl made me hard but this time being all alone I just pulled back my shorts leg and started stroking. When I was done I sat there and looked at her a while longer. I left before anyone could walk up and find me there.
I would like to say that the worst risk I ever took was the day at the moves. I was at a PG13 movie one afternoon the theater was almost empty and I was sitting not in the back row but behind everyone else there. During the film a naked girl walks out of the water. I as always was wearing my shorts. I looked around and everyone was watching the screen, I pulled my shorts leg back and did it right there during the movie with people in the room. But it was dark and the movie was load.
I was unstoppable on my way to getting caught. The worst of them when I was 13 started while I was walking through a toy store. I had gone out with my step mom to look for a birthday present for some little kid. I slipped away from her to look around the place on my own when that dumb ass song came on. I thought, really their playing that in a toy store? I was getting worked up I began walking to the back of the store to knock it out in a restroom when I saw the girl from the park weeks earlier.
I recognized her right off. She so beautiful every much as when I had seen her the first time. She was wearing shorts and a tank top. Her breasts were just beginning to come in and the cold air made her nipples hard and I could see them through her shirt. Up close I could see that she had the smoothest legs of any girl I had ever met.
From both the song and the fact that I was looking at the only girl I had directly ever jerked it to, I didn’t mean to but I went from getting worked up to completely popping up right there. I looked down at myself for just a second thinking, oh not now. I saw her look down too and I was so embarrassed I slowly started walking away I really needed to find the restroom now. I went to the back corner of the store only to find no rest room there I turned around and looked up to see she was standing a couple of feet in front of me. I was petrified at first I was sticking up in my shorts and she had followed me to the back corner.
She looked at me, her face red from understanding and embarrassment. I certainty was too. I don’t know what possessed me to do it but I pulled up the leg of my shorts and exposed myself for a second to her right there. She turned completely red but didn’t look away instead she pulled her tank top down so I could see her small breast and hard nipple for just a second. This just made me go harder. I reached down pulling my shorts leg up again but not just showing her this time I started to stroke myself for her. She turned even redder. I wasn’t even looking around to see if an adult was in view I was just looking at her and doing the one thing I kept most private in the world.
“You can touch it,” I squeaked out. She tentatively came to me and touched it lightly. Being that it was the first time I was ever touched by a girl even just her touching it with her fingers I came on her tank top.
“EWWWWW” she said whipping her shirt and running away. It was only
really then that I realized again where I was and what I had done. I ran off as fast as I could before she could bring back and adult.
For the first time in a long while the guilt and shame came back to me. I realized just how out of control I had gotten. The whole thing could have gone so much worse. I was lucky I didn’t get caught. I was lucky I wasn’t arrested. All my fears of this being wrong came back to me again. I was ashamed of myself and the fact that I really was some kind of pervert deviant.
I didn’t do it again at all for at least a week. I wanted to stop it all together and be a good person again. One who didn’t touch himself. One who didn’t take all these risks to get caught. But as things go I couldn’t hold out forever and I started again. Only this time I stopped taking such big risks. I only did it now at home by myself living with the shame and guilt quietly. Still having no one to talk to it affected my whole life thinking that there was something wrong with me.
It wasn’t long after that, that I turned 14 that was the year of creativity. I call it that because as I said I had stopped taking risks but I moved into another phase. That time period was the object phase. I searched my house for anything round and about the right size that I could stick it in and still feel good. I don’t exaggerate when I say I tried everything round. This is the time period when some boys will go so far as to use the vacuum cleaner. I heard tails of that when I got older I was just never that guy. Not that the thought had never hit me but for one the hose was to small and I was actually afraid of the suction.
But flashlights, tubes, piggy banks, toys, holes in the couch, bottles and generally anything I could stick my dick into were all violated. It started at my house but progressed on to other’s houses too. My grandmother had a guest bed that was decoratively carved that had holes carved though the foot board. I found out that one of the holes worked perfect. I’m guessing it was in this phase that my cousin was caught naked in his room with the dog. Yet again I’m glad I wasn’t that guy. I’m very happy I never went that road.
I’ve lost track of all the things I tried that year, because it was a lot of stuff. And talk about fear of getting caught, every time I stuck it in that bed frame I was so worried about some one finding me there with my dick in the wood. I guess it’s not as bad as getting caught with a dog but still I’d would’ve lost it if someone walked in on that.
The problem was most round objects were either to small or to big. I could never find anything the right size that felt completely good except the holes in that damn bed frame. The down side to that is that was I had to hang out at my grandmothers to get it. I wanted so bad to find that one object that was perfect and it never happened.
That was the same year my father broke up with my step mom. She had cheated on him with his best friend and we moved across town and he started a new job. After all her talk about the evils of sex she banged his best friend. Now that’s what I call irony. I never understood what they saw in each other in the first place.
My father had been a player until my mother died when I was 4. I had never met him and when she died he had showed up and taken custody. As far as we knew then I was an only child so finding out he had a child had changed his life. He had married my step mom when I was 6. From day one they were opposites. She dragged us off to church and ran the house with an iron fist.
After breaking up with my step mom we stopped going to church and I hardly saw him anymore. He went back into full time dating. I was home alone so much that I had to learn to cook just so there was something to eat. I would come home often to find cash and a note saying he would be back later. At first I would use the money to go get fast food but after a couple months I started using it for groceries and doing the shopping myself.
It gave me plenty of time to experiment during the year of creativity. That’s also why I spent so much time at my grandmothers house. With him gone for whole weekends I would get dumped there. I would act like I was mad that I was stuck there on the weekend again, playing the annoyed kid routine. Then every night it was the same thing I would listen for her to go to bed. When I could hear the snoring through the door, I would go around to the foot board and spend half the night with that rounded wood hole.
When I was 15 I had slowly began to take risks again. After spending the last year humping everything in sight I was frustrated with not being successful with finding a portable object so I went back to using my old friend, my hand. I would only take risks in public where ever I thought it was safe. Places like the woods or public bathrooms or changing rooms. It would be years again before I would do it at a park, parking lot or movie theaters.
The girl in the toy store that day was the one and only focus of my mental fantasizes. I had progressed to at least once in the morning shower, once after school and once right before bed. That was if my dad was home. It was more if he wasn’t. It would be some days as often as once an hour when I could. At this point in my life just doing it didn’t work alone anymore, so I would have to close my eyes and tink about a scenario to get off. It was always her in my head. The one girl who had ever seen it or touched it. The only real live boob I had ever seen, even though she didn’t have much more than a nipple then. The two things combined had carried me some times up to 12 a day over two years.
It was six months after my parents broke up that I went with my father to a wedding. I was so disgusted with him at that point in my life I really didn’t want to spend any time around him. So I was at the reception and I was bored out of my mind. The wedding was for some co worker of my Dad’s named John who was getting married at his parents farm house.
The farm was huge consisting of a main house and an couple of different sized barns spread out in different areas of the property. A gigantic tent was put up to hold the wedding and reception. This was done mainly to keep people out of the small house. The party mainly hung out in the tent or around it. I was
wandering around outside the party tent when that dumb ass song came on. I could feel myself lifting off.
“Oh, come on,” I said aloud. I couldn’t believe this was still happening!
I headed for the far side of the property I would go around the barn where no one else seemed to be. I was going to take care of business really quickly. I rounded the corner and it happened again. She was standing there, the girl from the store. I was so shocked I actually lost my erection.
She was smoking a cigarette and trying to hide from the wedding party. She had changed a little, her breasts had come in more and she had gotten taller, but it was her. She was dressed in a beautiful red dress with her hair done up so a few strands fell across her face. I was stunned I almost hopped she didn’t recognize me, this could end bad.
“It’s you, the toy store boy.” she said slyly.
“Yeah, I’m……” was as far as I got when she kissed me.
“I don’t need to know your name,” she said, “I’ve never forgotten you. You were the first boy that ever got hard for me.”
“Look what happened that day………. I didn’t mean to……….” I said all embarrassed.
“Don’t try to explain. It would ruin it. I’m old enough to get it. You thought I was hot and you got hard. Your not the last boy to do that.”
“But most probably don’t just whip it out and cum on you, right away.”
“No they don’t,” She laughed, “They want to I’m sure, but they don’t.” She smiled at me and I started to loose my embarrassment. There was an awkward silence and looking at her I began to get hard again in my rented suit. She smiled as she noticed my arousal.
“You still haven’t been with a girl have you?” she asked quietly moving closer to me.
“No,” I whispered embarrassed, “Have you ever been with a ……” I couldn’t finish croaking out the last word.
“Shhhh.” she whispered. Her mouth next to my ear, “I’ve never……… you know, gone all the way. But I have done this,” She said kissing me softly. She reached down slowly unzipped my pants and pulling me out.
“You’ve grown virgin boy,” she whispered. The whispering in my ear making me hotter.
“Warn me this time.” she said just before putting me in her mouth.
This didn’t take long it seemed to have just started when I found myself starting to say I was going to pop. It happened as I started to speak it.
“Uuck, I hate that part. I told you to warn me.” She wasn’t really angry as she turned and spit. She stood up again and lit another cigarette. She then reached over and zipped me up again. I was in shock I tried to get some words out but…….
“I’m sorry I tried to……… I didn’t mean to …….. that fast.”
“It’s ok. It’s always that way with virgin boys. I just love that look on your face.”
“Why did you………. not that I’m complaining but……….. why?”
She smiled at me and told me that the time in the toy store was the first time she had seen a boy hard and it had done something to her. It made her curious. It made her want to try to make other boys hard. It made her want to do more then touch a boy.
She started dating this guy a couple years older then her who ended up forcing her to go down on him. She actually liked it but didn’t like the guy for making her do it before she was ready. After he tried to force her to have sex she dumped him.
Since then she had played around with just virgin boys because she kind of liked giving head and because they were always so grateful never trying to force her to do more. But she said she would only do it once or twice with each them before moving on. She explained that after a couple times they would push for more and she wasn’t ready for more so she moved on.
The way that she had took care of me had felt really good. I felt it would be disrespectful to ask how many of these encounters she had, had. But I was curious.
“Your not kidding.” I told her. “That was fucking awesome.”
“That’s not all,” she said looking down almost ashamed, “I’ve thought about you and that day in the store so many times. I mean I should have been disgusted that day. I should have told some one. But for some reason I was flattered, and I was just as curious as you were bold at that moment. I should have been mad but it …….turned me on.” She said the last words quietly.
“I never meant to be bold I just saw you and I don’t know what came over me,” I told her talking about this was getting me aroused again.
“I don’t know what it was in that moment but I felt it to. I wanted to touch it the moment I noticed your shorts lifting up, I think that’s why I followed you in the store. I don’t know how but I knew something was going to happen. Then you did what you did. I was in shock. I touched you, I was so hot and wanted to touch one. In my mind I was actually curious to know what it would feel like inside me too. Then you came on my shirt. I freaked out and ran away.”
“I ran away too.”
“Tonight when I saw you it was like you walked out of my head and I was curious about you again and I didn’t want to miss out this time,” she stopped to finish her cigarette.
“Thank you,” I said to her, unzipping my pants again and pulling myself out. Timidly I asked, “Can I have another chance?”
“Sure,” she whispered in my ear as she grabbed me with her hand first, “I love it when your bold.” I loved her whispering in my ear, I was so hard.
She smiled up at me for a moment before sucking me again. This time as I hoped it lasted a little longer. Were not talking hours longer but it was at least a good few minute longer this time.
“UKKK, Warning is a good thing,” she said spitting and standing up again when it was done. All I could manage was a miserable “Sorry” again.
“Just keep that in mind when your with a girl, it’s nice to tell them,” she scolded as she lit a 3rd cigarette. We talked about basically nothing for another 2 hours and she had a couple more cigarettes in that time. She said that she usually didn’t smoke that much but she wasn’t having the best day.
She explained that her mom was the brides sister and she hated her new uncle. She claimed that he had hit on her repeatedly since she was 15. Being which I was only now 15 it made me wonder just how much older them me she was. She had been really glad I came along, seeing me again and being able to fulfill one of her longest fantasies had made her day.
Finally she said that we should rejoin the party. I was sad to see our time together come to a close. I didn’t know if I would ever see her again. She pulled out another cigarette saying she was going to have one more and join the party. I leaned in and kissed her before she could light it. It had been a couple hours since she gave me head and I wanted one last kiss before leaving. She kissed me back. We stood there kissing heavy and I pulled down the top of her dress exposing her breasts.
I pulled away long enough to look at her breasts before kissing her more heavily and rubbing them with my hand. I pushed her up against the barn wall and lifted up the bottom of her dress. This was hot and passionate and I was losing my mind. I slipped my hand inside her panties and my finger inside her. She moaned and grabbed my hand guiding it to touch the right spots. I couldn’t believe this was real. I couldn’t believe it was really her. We were kissing and I had my hands on her boob and pussy after getting head! I was waiting to wake up, I just hopped that it wouldn’t happen before we could finish this dream. I was burning I took my hand out of her and unzipped my pants. I moved forward lifted her up against the wall and got as far as my penis touching her through her panties. Doing my best not to pop before I could get it in, I was about to pull her panties aside when she stopped me.
“See,” she said panting, “Never fails you blow a guy twice and he wants more.”
“I’m……. I was just going with ……..” I said embarrassed.
“I was fucking with you,” She said smiling, “I want it too……. I like you……. you’re my toy boy…….. that was the most passionate moment I’ve ever ……..I’m just not ready.”
“Oh……. I…..” I started looking down at myself.
“And yes before you ask I will get you one more time.” She smiled and spun me around so my back was to the wall this time. She went down on me again. After what had just happened it didn’t take long this time but I did manage to warn her. When it was done she picked up her dropped cigarette and lit it.
We stood there in silence until she had finished her smoke and then she said we really needed to get back. I agreed and kissed her one last time before leaving.
As we walked back to the reception. I was actually light headed from the whole experience. The walk across the farm took a few minutes as it was a big place. Outside kitchen door to the house someone called to her.
“I got to go,” she said winking at me. I had missed the name they had called and it was then that it hit me, I had almost had sex with her and I still didn’t even know her name.
I wondered around the outside of the tent for awhile before going back in. I walked in to find my father rushing over to me.
“Where have you been I’ve been looking for you for an hour?” He asked. He was really excited about something.
“Walking around, what’s the big deal?”
“I have some one I want you to meet,” he told me. We walked over to his co worker John and standing with him was his new wife Linda and her sister Lilly.
“Joey this is Lilly, as it turns out John here married the sister of one of my ex-girlfriends.”
“Wow, Dad that’s cool,” I said really flatly not really thinking about what he just said. At this point I really didn’t give a damn about some ex-girlfiend.
“I don’t expect you to get excited about that part,” He said equally flat, “But I guess when we broke up she didn’t know she was pregnant. You have a sister and I have a daughter. Isn’t that cool?”
My heart sank. I knew the rest of it before he said anything. Knowing my dad as I did I knew that he would have fucked her a few times then disappeared when another piece of ass came along. I’d seen him do it repetitively over the last six months. He never stayed with one for long. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if I had 10 more sisters out there. It was then what he had said a minute ago came screaming into my head. Didn’t the girl say that her mom was the sister if the bride? But what are the odds? This didn’t mean she was my sister she could be the daughter of another sister of the bride right? Unfortunately that is what this story is all about. My toy store girl came walking in a few minutes later. She smiled at me and winked.
“Oh god no,” I thought to myself as she walked over and gave Lilly a hug. It was then she was introduced to my father and I as Lilly’s sister’s daughter Katie.
I told you the prologue would freak you out later in this story.
We looked at each other horrified for a minute and It was all I could do to regain my composure. I played it off like I was just in shock of having a sister. This was wrong, so wrong. I found out Katie was 16 making her one year older then me. All I could think about was oh my god! I just got head from my sister, three times and almost fucked her!
As soon as we could get away, we walked outside together to talk. We both were horrified by the realization that we were related. It was a while before we really spoke and when we did it was real talking. The kind of adult conversation I don’t think I had ever had with another person in my life to that point. She said the thought of it made her a little sick. I didn’t make her sick just the situation. She said we couldn’t do it again.
“I just thank god I stopped you when I did,” She said trying to smile.
“Yeah………..” I said quietly.
“You’ll always be my toy boy,” she said kissing my cheek trying to cheer me up, “But now things are different.”
“Well ………,” I started, “It’s not like we live together……. I understand your point…… I don’t know if I can think of you as a sister…….”
“Look, I can’t do it with my brother. I just can’t. Everything is weird now. My god I fingered myself to the thought of you, for two years!” She said her face turning red, “And tonight……….”
“I……..,” I couldn’t talk, the shame I hadn’t felt for a long time started to come back, because it didn’t matter to me, I still really wanted her. But I couldn’t tell her that now.
“Look,” she said again, “Let’s just put this in the past and try whole brother sister thing. I’ve always wanted a brother, really.”
“Ok,” I said thinking that having her in my life some way was better then no way.
We talked more. She figured that since we had only ever run into each other a couple times that we could move past everything and it wouldn’t be to weird given time. We talked until it was time for us to leave. We talked about our likes and dislikes and movies and books. We found we had a lot of common interest and we enjoyed discussing books. We intentionally avoided the monkey in the room as it were and started our relationship as siblings.
It was late when my dad came to find me. I hadn’t paid any attention to where he had been all night and when he found us talking he thought it was great that we were getting along already. He said it was time to leave and Katie gave me a quick and innocent hug good bye and said she had my number and would keep in touch.
I rode home in silence that night. I really hated life right now. I had finally found her again only to have the whole thing taken away again. How could I ever think of her as my sister. There was just no way after that was there?