The Sadness

The sadness is starting to set in.
There will be no more tingles on my skin.
I wanted him more than I could say.
But all he wanted to do was play.

I really do understand.
And just wanted to hold his hand.
Be his very special friend.
Take care of him until the end.

My passion is so very strong.
A compulsion grew before very long.
I wanted him so much every day.
But I fucked it up and pushed him away.

The sadness is filling me up to the brim.
Now it’s only chills on my skin.
My cravings are still the same.
I could cry when I see his name.

From feelings that are so conflicted.
It’s a mix of joy and pain it’s like a sickness.
The joy of having gotten to know him.
And the pain of missing all his whims.

I can’t believe he would not talk to me.
I will let some time pass and then we’ll see.
I hope he can understand.
He is my desire, my favorite man.

I don’t think I can ever stop wanting him.
Though my chances are so very slim.
I wanted him to need me so bad.
But he is not alone and that makes me glad.

So many others want me all of the time.
But he is the only one I wanted to make mine.
To care for him and make all his fantasies come true.
But I pushed him away and now he’s through.

I hope he thinks fondly of me.
And someday comes back and does not flee.
He will always have a home in my heart.
Where my love is waiting for him as it’s been from the start.

I will try to remember only all the good times.
And hope he forgives me for any of my crimes.
I am guilty of wanting him to much.
Now my dreams are smashed and can’t be touched.

The sadness now has taken over me.
It’s in ever pore all I can see.
I no longer have any kind of plan.
I wonder if I will ever hear from my favorite man.

I still have a little flicker of hope.
Even though I acted like a huge dope.
I really feel like a great big fool.
Though all these other men think I’m so cool.

They think that I’m so sexy and very hot.
There is one thing missing none of them have got.
He wanted my mind the most of all.
Touched my heart and soul with every call.

I wish he could feel like those other men do about me.
Guess that’s why he’s special there’s so much more he can see.
I just can’t believe it will ever be over.
I dream he will come back in spring with the clover.

I want it to always be light and easy.
Free flowing like the spring breezes.
Tantalizing, sexy and oh so hot.
Taking from him every thing that he’s got.

For now I will just be glad to wait.
In hopes that being together is our fate.
All the sadness will pervade.
But my feelings for him will never fade.