The Player

Alone in the dark, I get to reminisce,
About the girls that I used and the ones I just kissed,
The notches too high, the hearts that I have torn,
Without a care in the world I gave them my scorn.

There should be a special pit of hell, for the man I have been,
The way I treated them all was obscene.
I fucked them, screwed them and broke all their hearts,
Without a bit of remorse, shown on my part.

So how is it then, when my karma is bad,
That you come into my life when I’ve been such a cad?
You have shown me that love is true and exists.
You’ve opened my eyes and unshackled the wrists.

My heart is now thawing, a puddle is forming,
As the ice that cocooned it, is suddenly warming.
Colours appearing where before was just grey.
The night she is going and showing the day.

I am undeserved, a pitiful man.
So why do you stay when you should have ran?
How come the laugher? Is all this just fake?
I am finding it all a little too much to take.

Why do you care? I really can’t see,
Out of all those out there, you have chosen me.
I am trying my hardest to find a cause,
Why you just are loving without any pause.

Sorry if it seems that you have left me vexed,
I am just trying to find what you will do next,
I am now waiting for the rug to be pulled,
To make up for all of those hearts I have fooled.

Or are you for real? Can I start now to dream?
Can I now plan a future and start over clean?
If I blink will you still be there as before?
Can I even begin to love and adore?

I want this so much, can you show me the way?
Can you help me shed the bygones away?
Can you love me just for the man I am now?
Can the past just be stifled by you? Please? Somehow?

I will show you that I am a player no longer,
I will love you and just keep on making us stronger,
I promise my darling that I’ll be faithful to you, 
And show you that this heart can be true.

Note to myself, “Another notch in the post”
“Boring in bed, but better looking than most”
“The third one this week, you would think they would learn”
“But they all seem to think they’re the reason I’ll turn.”

“I’ll conquer them all. They haven’t a chance”
“They all think that they will lead this dance”
“But I am a chancer, I’m never a stayer”
“I am what I am, That’s always a player.”