The Ghostly Fool

I first saw you from afar, across the continent that divided us
Images of your beauty, that cast a thousand broken hearts in your wake
Little did I realize, that my face was next upon your list
Like a small, fragile little mouse, fearful of being crushed from those around me

My courage, I summed up, as I added you to speak across the waves
Shaking, words fumbling from my fingertips, to greet you with a warmth presence
We laughed, smiled, and even once shared an intimate moment between us that remains locked in my memory
And, unfortunately that time shared…. filtered down into my heart

I searched for you, each day in hope of your arrival online
That sense of you around, even just briefly caused my heart to beat twice as fast
Over time, and courage that grew, I revealed my true self to you
My face, my body, my disfigurement…. opened up, only to reveal quietness of response

I showed you more than I showed anyone, a true image of myself in hope of acceptance
I wrote words, meaningless to some…. poems of happiness that featured your beauty captured within
Only for them to be rejected, ‘cheesy’ I believed the words in response that sticks in my head
You faded away from my existence, quietly disappeared back into your own world

I still, like a stupid fool… search for you, in hope of a return to just speak, see and feel that connection again
But like a puppy dog, thrown out by it’s owner… I stand alone, in the pouring rain, shaking down to my bones
I know I’m a fool, my life revolved around a connection across two computers in fear of the real world
But tears, heartache and pain I fear of making connections, of real people walking away in past still exist

You may never know, you may never care…. but for a short period of time, you became a part of me
For you took a small piece of my heart, leaving behind emptiness and pain in your wake that cannot be filled……