“Hey, you going to answer that?” Lara stood in the doorway.
“Nope. It’s my mom. I know why she’s calling and I’m done with being yelled at.”
“Ah, I see.” Lara surveyed Ryan’s room for a few minutes before observing, “This place is a mess.”
Clothes, papers and general stuff littered the bed and floor. Ryan snorted. “Your room is no better. I saw it myself.”
“True. Moving sucks.” Lara came in and sat on the floor.
“At least you have a place to put your stuff. You’re moving in with Trout. I feel like I’m doing half a move. I get to sort and pack but I don’t have an end point.” Ryan riffled through some papers and dropped them in a trash can.
“I talked to Annette the other day, she said she might know somebody. She’ll text you.”
“Thanks. I haven’t had time to do much looking around.”
“Any more news on Evan?”
Ryan sat on the edge of her bed and dropped some more papers to the floor. “Nothing new. Dad’s still pissed, but give Evan some credit—he’s not budging. At least since Evan has a scholarship, Dad can’t threaten to pull the plug on tuition.”
“That’s good. Has your dad left you alone?”
“Yeah. JT called and started in on me, but I hung up on him.”
“You go, girl!” Lara grinned.
Ryan gave her a wry grin. “Thanks.”
“Hey, listen, speaking of moving, Trout has a friend who wanted the sofa. He was going to come around today.”
“Oooooh, cool! We can have a pajama party in the living room! With sleeping bags and everything!” Ryan clasped her hands together in mock excitement.
“Oh, please. It’s only a couple of weeks. That must be him.” Lara jumped up when someone knocked on the door.
Ryan followed her out and watched as Trout came in with another guy. It took them a few minutes to wiggle it out the door, and she stared at the empty space after they had left. “How did all that stuff get under the couch?”
“I’m not sure,” Lara said.
“Hey, I wondered where that went.” Ryan knelt down and picked up a book.
Lara joined her. “You are a slob. Look at all these. What, did you corner the market on Combos?”
“I’m not the only one,” Ryan said. “I do believe all of these M&Ms are yours. I’m going to get a trash bag.” She went into the kitchen and came back, shaking the plastic bag open.
“Oh, my God, what is that?” Lara pointed at an unidentifiable blob on the floor. “I don’t want to touch it.”
Ryan looked around and finding nothing suiting her purpose, sighed and touched the thing with her foot. It flipped over, making Lara jump. Ryan snickered. “I think it’s dead.”
“Well, I’m not picking it up.”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Ryan used the bag to protect her hand and picked it up. As it fell in, she noted, “At least it didn’t stick to the rug.”
“That’s so gross. God, let’s finish this and get the vacuum cleaner.”
After the area was clean, Lara stared at the space. “Wow, it looks a lot bigger in here.”
“I know. It’s weird, isn’t it?” Ryan turned to Lara. “I mean, we haven’t really been here all that long, but I’m going to miss this place.”
“Yeah, me too. Not surprising, I guess. It’s the first place we had on our own. We found it, we paid for it, we furnished it.” Lara held her hands out and then dropped them. “And now we are moving on to a new stage of our lives. Naturally there will be feelings of loss and perhaps even a sense of mourning.”
Ryan stared at her friend, then burst out laughing. “Those psych courses finally came in handy, huh?”
Lara grinned. “Well, I read it in an advice column, but yeah, I think we covered it in a class somewhere.”
“You have better recall than I do.” Ryan shook her head. “Okay, I’m going back to try and get organized.”
“Yeah, me too. I’ll grab you for some dinner later, okay?”
“Sure.”
Ryan went back into her room and wanted to walk out again when confronted by the piles on her bed and floor and other flat surfaces. She considered procrastinating by returning her mother’s earlier call, but sorting and packing was far easier than dealing with her parents.
There was something to what Lara had said. After college, she and Lara had shared a house with a couple of other women, but there had been personality conflicts and more drama than Ryan cared for. When a couple of boyfriends turned into de facto residents, Ryan and Lara decided they had had enough and had found their current apartment.
She remembered how they had walked in and been a little overwhelmed. The apartment was not huge but it had seemed so with the eggshell walls, beige carpeting and lack of furniture.
It had seemed the best of both worlds. With separate bedrooms, they would each have a place to go to be alone but they would be close enough to talk or work on songs. For a couple of years now, it had worked out perfectly.
Ryan packed some winter clothes into a box. Lara’s mom had offered to store some of her things, and Ryan had gratefully taken the offer. She didn’t want to impose too much, but she couldn’t toss everything, and storage units could get expensive.
She flipped on her iPod and laughed when David Bowie’s “Changes” came on. She couldn’t even remember when she had added that, but if only for the title it felt appropriate.
Ryan mused that her own life had been full of changes the last few months. A boyfriend, getting rid of Jason, and now the tour; she hoped things would slow down for a bit so she could adjust to it all. She smiled at the thought of Brody—that was one thing that had taken less adjustment than she had feared.
She checked the time and wondered when he might call. He had gotten back from Michigan the day before, but the team had a busy schedule as the season wound down. They had talked on the phone but had not been able to meet up yet. Busy, busy, busy, Ryan thought. She stopped in the middle of folding a shirt then went into Lara’s room.
“Hey. What’s up?” Lara stuffed a teddy bear into a bag.
Ryan leaned against the dresser. “I was just thinking. It’s going to be really weird when we go on tour and I won’t see Brody.”
Lara looked at her, puzzled. “Okay. I mean, yes, but what exactly is weird about it?”
“I’m not sure.” Ryan frowned. “It’s just . . . so far, he’s been doing the traveling. And that’s fine. Sometimes he’s gone a couple of days, sometimes a couple of weeks. But there’s always a break for home games and we get to see each other. But we’re leaving for what, six weeks, right? That’s a long time not to see someone.”
“I haven’t seen my dad for six months,” Lara offered. “It’s worked for us.”
Ryan gave a half-smile and shook her head. Lara and her father were barely civil to each other. “You know what I mean. You won’t see Trout, either. Aren’t you—I don’t know—worried about it?”
“A little, maybe.” Lara sat on her bed. “I’ll miss him, sure. And he’ll miss me if he knows what’s good for him.”
That got a laugh out of Ryan. “I’m sure he will; he’s a bright guy.” She quieted again. “This whole thing is just weird for me.”
“Well, I did say before, it’s really cute to watch you deal with a real relationship.” Lara snickered and dodged when Ryan threw a stuffed cat at her. “Your aim sucks.”
“You’re not supposed to move.” Ryan reached out to pick up a toy horse. “Why do you have all these things anyway?”
“When I was little I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then I got grossed out in biology class. Stuffed animals filled the gap nicely. And Trout got some for me.”
“Yeah, it’s nice when they do that, isn’t it?” Ryan turned the horse over in her hands, staring at it but not seeing it.
“When who does what?”
“When Trout does something just because he knows you like it. Like Brody, when he got me that rabbit.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, he got you a rabbit?” Lara widened her eyes.
Ryan threw the horse at her. “Get your mind out of the gutter. The purple rabbit I showed you. He remembered that I said rabbit feet creeped me out, and so he said this one was lucky because it had all its feet. It was sweet.”
“Yes, it was. Ryan, you have to relax. Going on tour isn’t the end of anything. It’s supposed to be a beginning, a fun time, and hopefully we’ll make some progress, maybe get onto a bigger tour or even get in with a record company.”
“I know, I know. And I want that, believe me. It’s just . . . well, like I told Brody, anytime I thought about stuff like this before, I never had a boyfriend in the picture.”
“Things change, Ryan. You just need to re-do the picture. Insert the boyfriend in, you know, like a mental version of Photoshop.”
Ryan smiled and nodded, still trying to work through her thoughts. It could not be easy for Lara to go away from Trout, but they had been together for a long time and helped each other through stressful times. There was security there. Ryan and Brody did not have that kind of history. Slowly, she got her concerns out to Lara.
Lara brushed her hair back and thought before responding. “He’s still been there for you, Ryan. Even before you started going out, like the day of the GW show last fall. That’s a good kind of history. I know I’ve kidded around a lot, but I think you’ve been pretty relaxed about the whole thing, and you shouldn’t change now.”
“It’s just—he does a lot for me. I’m not sure what I do for him. So if I’m out of the way for a while, maybe he’ll decide things are easier without me.”
“I don’t think so.” Lara gave her a reassuring smile. “Ryan, I’ve seen you guys together. Brody cares about you and I don’t think he’ll suddenly decide things are better just because you’re not around to eat his food.”
Ryan gave a wistful sigh. “I will miss the food.”
“You know, you should be talking to him about all this, not me.”
“I know but it’s easier with you. I know you won’t break up with me.” Ryan laughed and it was her turn to dodge a flying stuffed animal. “Your aim is worse than mine.”
Lara pretended to pout but relented and smiled. “Really, you’re worrying too much. And you should talk to Brody. Maybe he’s worried about this stuff, too.”
“He’s probably too wrapped up with the playoffs to worry too much.”
“Oh, no. Don’t do that.” Lara shook her head. “That’s the experience with your dad and all talking. Don’t bring all that in or use it to judge things with Brody. You won’t know what he’s worried about until you ask him.”
Ryan rested her chin in her hand. “What column did you read that in? Maybe I should read it, too.”
Via: https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/rhythm-and-the-blue-line-ch-34