My lost loves (part 2) by nakdsub

My Three Loves
Chapter 2

“Uuuhh,” another wave of white heat seared through my body ripping me from my dream like state, and back to reality. I tried to lift my head. I had to get my bearings, but all I could see was the darkening gray sky above. I struggled to gather my strength. I had to reach the house. I had to get help. I fought to stay conscious but I was having trouble breathing and I was getting light headed.

“Yes, darling, I do love you, I love you very, very much,” again I heard a voice drifting into my thoughts. No, not Tanya’s voice this time, this voice I recognized immediately. It was Kris, the woman with whom I shared ten years of my life and the mother of my two daughters. I remember when she first spoke those words to me. It was so many years ago, and yet, I could see her so clearly in my mind. She was propped up on her right elbow staring down into my face after our third, marathon love making session that night.

Again I tried to raise my head, but I was still too weak. I could feel the strength draining from my body and I had to regroup. I laid there and allowed myself to think back to the first time Kris walked into my apartment on the arm of my best friend, George. She was stunningly beautiful and, for the first time since losing Tanya, I found myself interested.

“Brent,” started George, my pleasingly plump friend, “meet Kris, or as she’s known in the modeling world, ‘KA‘”. I stepped forward and lightly took her hand. “How do you do, Kris, Its nice to meet you,” I said trying desperately not to trip over my words. “Please, have a seat. Can I get you something to drink. I have soft drinks plus a fully stocked bar.”

“Thank you,” she said, “I’ll take a glass of white wine if you have it.”

“One glass of white wine coming up,” I said. “George, you want your usual?”

“Yeah,” he answered while sitting in the chair opposite Kris, “that’ll be fine, Brent, thanks.”

While I turned in the direction of the bar George started the conversation. “Brent here is the best damn newspaper photographer in the city,“ he told Kris. “He’s on staff at The Times.” George had a way of exaggerating big time, but I had no problem with him building me up in front of Kris. I knew exactly what he was going to say next as he started to chuckle.

“You know the difference between his job and mine?“ he asked. Kris shook her head. “I shoot the live bodies, he shoots the dead bodies.”

This was George’s standing joke ever since he had gone with me to a crime scene one night. One of our local mafia wise guys had evidently pissed off his boss and was lying on a restaurant floor with several .45 caliber holes in him. I shot a few pictures of the body before the coroner removed it, hence the dead bodies.

George, on the other hand, was the chief photographer for one of the largest studios in the city. They specialized in catalog photography and did most of the work for Sears, J C Penny’s, Montgomery Wards, and almost anyone else who produced a catalog of their wares. George worked with dozens of local models every day, hence the live bodies.

Most of the time George’s little joke didn’t bother me, but I certainly didn’t want this gorgeous creature to associate me with dead bodies. “Don’t listen to him,” I said to Kris, “he’s just jealous because I get my name in the paper every day.”

I handed out the drinks. “White wine for the lady,” I said as Kris reached to take the glass from my hand, “and Kentucky bourbon for George.”

It wasn’t long before we were all engaged in conversation. Kris was so easy to talk to and had a smile that would light up the sky on a moonless night.

As the evening waned on George asked if I wouldn’t mind taking Kris home. I was beginning to wonder what George was up to. He never did say the reason for the visit, and now he wanted me to give this gorgeous woman a ride to her apartment in the burbs.

At that point I really didn’t care about his motives. I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “I don’t mind at all,” I said looking at Kris.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I live in Wheeling. That’s a good half hour from here.”

“No problem at all,” I said as we all started for the door.

The first few minutes in the car was filled with small talk until Kris turned her head in my direction. “George was right about you,” she said.

“Right about me? I don’t get it, what was he right about?”

“You’re a really nice guy,” she said with a smile. “I haven’t met too many lately. My last boyfriend was cheating on me and when I called him on it, we broke up.”

“Cheating…on you?”

“Yeah,” said Kris, “and I think it was with more than one woman. Anyway, I was complaining to George and telling him I didn’t think there were any nice guys in this whole city. He said he knew one and asked if I wanted to meet him.”

“So that was the reason for the visit. I wondered.”

“Yep,” she said, “I wanted to meet the one nice guy from Chicago,” she said grinning, “and here you are.”

I learned a long time ago, if you’re interested in someone let them know, ask questions, and pay attention to the answers. Kris loved modeling. She did hand modeling, foot modeling, as well as lingerie. In addition to George using her when ever he could, she also had several other accounts including De Vry’s, one of the biggest jewelers in the city.

By the time we reached her apartment it was getting pretty late. “What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?” she asked.

“Ah, I don’t have to be there until ten,” I answered.

“Good,” she said as she stepped up in front of me. With a slight smile she looked at my shirt and began to unbutton it. She looked back into my eyes. “Then let’s get horizontal.”

Wow, I thought, these big city girls sure do move fast. I was already starting to pitch a tent in my pants. My brain was telling me to slow down, I’ve only known this girl for a few hours. Of course my cock was saying who cares, we’re going to get laid.

I think I was more excited over seeing this breathtakingly beautiful woman naked than I was over having sex with her. With in a few minutes I found myself between her lovely legs giving my tongue the workout of a life time.

She screamed and twisted her body, she grabbed the back of my head and pushed me down into the sweetest pussy I had ever seen. “Oh God,” she exclaimed after coming down from her third or fourth orgasm, “you have a very talented tongue.”

She crooked her finger at me. “Come up here,” she said. As I crawled up further on the bed she reached down and took a hold of the steel bar between my legs and started guiding it home.

“Are you on the pill?” I asked.

She smiled. “Yes, I am. Thanks for asking. Now, quit being so damn nice and fuck me.”

I didn’t have to be told twice. She already had the head of my cock poking at the entrance to heaven. She gave a breathy sigh as I pushed. I knew I wouldn’t last long. The touch of her hand almost had me exploding, but I did managed to hold off a little longer.

“Oh yes, yes,” Kris was screaming. “Harder, harder,” she yelled some more. I starting thrusting harder, faster, her body writhed under my assault.

Just as I felt my balls drawing up tight Kris shrieked in ecstasy and I knew she was coming again. My whole body stiffened and I pumped with one last hard thrust before groaning with the intensity of my own climax. I collapsed on the bed next to her. We laid there, both trying to catch our breath.

“You’re not only a nice guy,” said Kris being the first one to be able to talk, “but you’re not a bad lay either.”

“Kris,” I said still breathing hard, “any man who isn’t inspired by your beauty is dead, and I’m not dead.”

She turned toward me and lightly touch my mouth with her finger. She smiled, gently rubbed her thumb over my lips and kissed me. I hadn’t dated much since Tanya. The trauma of losing her left me scared of getting too close to another woman, afraid of having my heart ripped from my chest again, but as I gazed into Kris’ eyes, I knew I was about to become involved, there was just no way around it.

After several minutes of cuddling, Kris got up and disappeared behind the bathroom door. I could hear water running and in another minute Kris came out with a warm wash clothe. I thought I was in heaven as she reverently bathed my genitals then patted them dry with a hand towel. No one had ever done that for me before but I knew next time it would be my turn.

Kris returned the wash clothe and towel to the bathroom and came back into the bedroom. She climbed on the bed, bent down, and took my semi-hard dick in her mouth. Her head bobbed up and down and had me at full mast inside of about thirty seconds. She held it upright with her hand and started to rapidly flick her tongue around the very tip then under the head. She knew all the sensitive areas and she knew what to do with them.

She stopped long enough to look into my eyes. “You ready for round two?” she asked.

I was still in euphoria from her able bodied tongue. I closed my eyes, “Oh yeah,” was about all I could get out. Kris crawled up a little and swung her leg over me. She reached behind and steered my missile to its target. Kris laid her hands on my chest and started to moving her body up and down. I took a hold of her waist and helped her on the way up each time. She closed her eyes and threw her head back as she picked up the pace. I could hear the bed springs keeping time with the tune of our love making.

“I…I’m going to cum,” I cried, “I’m going to cum!”

“Come on, baby,” she replied not far from the rapture again herself.

Suddenly my body convulsed in an upward movement. I sat up wrapping my arms around Kris’ lushes body just as she too erupted unleashing wave after wave of erotic sensations.

We rested on the bed next to each other giggling at our own exhaustion.

“I know this is probably a silly question to ask a man,” said Kris in a soft voice, “but did you enjoy it, because I sure did.”

“I can’t think of anything I could possibly enjoy more,” I said turning my head and kissing her on the lips.

“What time do you have to get up in the morning?” she asked.

“Oh, I should be out of here by seven anyway,” I said, “that’ll give me time to get home, shower, and change my clothes.”

“Okay, I’ll set the alarm for six. That’ll give us time for a quick fuck before you have to go,” Kris said with a devilish, little smile.

We cuddled in each other’s arms and drifted off to sleep. The next morning we not only screwed like rabbits again, but Kris asked if I could make it back again that night. I did…that night, and the night after, and the night after that. In fact, Kris and I started spending all of our free time together. We became a couple, a couple who was falling in love.

Six months had flown by like a whirlwind. I knew what my feelings were for Kris. I felt so vulnerable. Not since Tanya had I allowed my heart to open up like this. The problem was, neither of us had actually spoken those, so important, three little words. Did they really need to be spoken or could they just be understood? I was terrified to say them first. What if she didn’t say them back?

One of the nice perks of working for the newspaper was our revolving work schedule. Every third month we got a three day week-end. We would work Friday until about five, then have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off, not having to be at work again until two o’ clock Tuesday afternoon. My long week-end was coming up in another week and I had something planned.

I asked Kris if she had ever been to Door County Wisconsin. I knew she hadn’t because George told me earlier it was somewhere she always wanted to go but never got the chance. When I asked her if she could clear her calendar and go for the week-end she jumped at it.

By the time we arrived in Ephraim, our destination, it was too late to do anything other than check in to our motel and get a good night’s sleep. The next day, however, was filled with things to do. We found a quaint, little ma and pa restaurant that had the best eggs and sausage either of us had ever eaten. From there we toured antique shops, art galleries, and wineries.

We strolled the waterfront arm in arm and watched the waves of Lake Michigan thunder in and crash violently against the pre-historic rock formations along the shore line. Later that evening we dined at a fabulous, little restaurant in town that came highly recommended by everyone.

All night I tried to keep from showing my nervousness. I had to ask the question tonight, the answer to which, would certainly impact the following night, as well as the rest of my life.

By the time we got back to our room we both needed a shower. She stepped in first but I was right behind her. I reached around and lathered her magnificent breasts just as she reached around, took my cock with her soapy hand, and slowly started stroking my rigid member. I pushed it into the crack of her ass and moved up and down. Kris started to moan. She took a step back, braced her hands on the shower stall wall, and gave me full access to her love canal.

I wasted no time in slipping my stiff cock all the way in. Kris threw her head back as she met my every thrust with her own rhythm. I wrapped my arms around her body and held her tight as we both climaxed.

Kris was having such a good time, she was like a kid at heart. We dried each other off and ran right into bed. I laid down. My cock was already starting to stiffen again. Kris sucked into her mouth without a second thought. She used every trick she knew and was driving me absolutely wild with desire. Soon I was on top of her again pounding away with wanton enthusiasm. We both came in a climatic euphoria that shook the beams in the ceiling.

We rested for a few minutes then started again, this time, however, I wanted to make love, slow passionate love. I cradled her head in my arm and kissed her softly. She moaned with delight as I caressed the erogenous zones behind her ears, down the nap of her neck, around her shoulders, and then moving to her breasts. She arched her back and whimpered as I gently pinched her nipples.

I worked my way down the tight muscles of her flat stomach and on to the recently shaved mound that lay in wait between her legs.
I brought her to one climax after another before lovingly slipping my cock into her eagerly summoning hole. I moved with a burning passion that comes only from the heart.

It was after two the morning by the time we were both spent. We laid with our bodies intertwined. It was now or never, I thought.

“Honey?”

“Uh huh,” she answered as if in a dream.

“I have to ask, you’ve never said anything. Do you love me?”

Kris looked over at me. She propped herself up on her right elbow and looked down into my face. “Yes darling I do love you. I love you very, very much.”

That was all I needed to put the rest of my plan into action. I smiled up at her, raised my head and kissed her. “I love you too, honey, but then I’m guessing you already knew that.”

Sunday morning we were up early. Everything was so beautiful neither of us wanted to waste a minute of the little time we had left. Today was going to be picture day. I grabbed my Nikon and we were off to capture on film, another day of wondrous adventures. Together we explored ancient caves, climbed the highest peaks, and tried to interpret three hundred year old native American art.

At the end of a full day we returned to our motel room to shower and change into clothes suitable for a pleasant evening of dining and dancing.

By the end of the evening I was afraid Kris might be too tired for me to carry out the rest of my plan, but when I asked her if she’d like to go down by the water and gaze at the full moon for a while, she was all for it.

We changed into some warm, comfy clothes and walked to a little bench outside of our room. As we sat and cuddled the gentle, rolling Lake Michigan waves lapped the sand just inches from our feet. Kris turned her head toward me, and with a soft kiss said, “This is really nice, honey. Thank you for this week-end.”

I smiled. She didn’t know it but she was playing right into my little trap.

“You’re very welcome, honey,” I said kissing her back. “You know, I was watching TV the other night and a commercial came on for De Vry’s Jewelers. I saw your gorgeous, feminine hand with long slender fingers adorned with a beautiful ring, and I was so proud to be able say to myself, I know the woman on the other end of that hand.”

Kris was smiling as I took her left hand. Then, before she knew what was happening, I slipped a diamond ring onto her middle finger. “Those commercials are missing one thing though,” I said getting down on one knee, “Kris, I didn’t think it was possible for me to ever feel this way again, but being with you has become the most important thing in my life and I don’t ever want it to end…will you marry me?”

For a moment she just stared at the ring, like she was in shock. The silence was deafening. My stomach started doing flip-flops. I could feel the knee of my Levis getting wet from the moist sand and I thought I had blown it.

Finally, with tears streaking down her cheek, Kris looked up from the ring on her finger and into my worried eyes, “YES,” she yelled grabbing me around the neck, “Oh my love, yes, yes, yes.”

She jumped from the bench as I was standing up and threw herself into my arms. I hadn’t fully gotten to my feet yet and lost by balance falling backwards into the cold water with Kris falling on top of me. “Are you okay?“ Kris asked with a little giggle. I smiled, wrapped my wet arms around her, and pulled us closer for a kiss. We embraced as the Lake Michigan waves broke over our two bodies.

On March first of the following year we exchanged vows in a quaint, little Illinois village church just north of the city. Our wedding was straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting with family and friends paying tribute to the two happiest people on earth.

After honeymooning in the Virgin Islands, we settled in and started making a life for ourselves. Because Kris’ apartment was so much bigger than my pad in the city, I moved in with her and became a suburbanite. Adjusting to married life was no problem at all. Her friends became mine, my friends became hers. Life was good and getting even better.

Every year the Illinois Press Photographers Association has its awards show and banquet. Press photographers from all over the state compete by submitting their finest work to be judged. I had been competing for years but never won much. This was my year, however. Maybe my work was better because I was in love, I don’t know, but I won first place in three categories, second place in another category, and third in still another category. I missed, ‘Photographer of the year,’ by only two points. Even so, later that year, winning so many awards was enough to get me a sizable raise from the newspaper. I was going to take Kris out to dinner to celebrate, but she had other ideas.

That night she met me at the door with her usual, welcome home, greeting. Kris put her lovely arms around my neck and kissed me, long and hard. “Ummmm,” she said, “you kiss pretty good for an old married man.”

“I’ll show you how old this married man is,” I fired back, “I plan to celebrate my raise by driving you into orgasmic bliss tonight.”

She laughed. Little did I know she had the same thing in mind, only with a twist. “Sounds good to me,” said Kris with a big grin, “but before that I made a little something special for dinner.”

“Oh honey, I thought I’d take you out tonight. Someplace nice and romantic before ravishing your body.”

“No need honey, I have everything right here,” said Kris looking into my eyes.

It was then that I noticed the glow from the candles. I looked around at the romantic atmosphere . She had put a lot of work into making this a special evening. I wondered to myself, what did I ever do to deserve such a fantastic wife.

“Are you sure dinner can’t wait?” I asked with an evil grin.

Kris playfully punched my arm. “Are you kidding, after I’ve been slaving over a hot stove all day, absolutely not. Go make yourself a drink and relax, dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”

“I will admit,” I said, “something smells awful good.”

It was good too. Trout Almondine, just the way I liked it. After a romantic, candle lit dinner, Kris brought out some after-dinner wine and we retired to the couch for a little R & R. “So,” started Kris, “you want to get frisky tonight, huh?”

“Honey, I can’t think of a better way to celebrate anything than to make love to my gorgeous wife. Honestly, I was going to take you out to dinner first, but that trout was as good as anything we could get at a restaurant. Thank you so much for that wonderful dinner. Now…you want to fuck?”

“You do know how to woo a girl don’t you,” Kris said with a smile. “Yes, I want to fuck, but there is something I want to ask you first.”

I looked into her eyes. It was getting so I could just about read her thoughts from those beautifully expressive green eyes, this looked serious. “Of course honey. Is something wrong?”

“No honey, not at all. I want to make love to you, but first I want to know if you want me to take my pill? I haven’t taken one today and I would like to stop them all together.”

I must have looked confused.

“Honey, I want to have your baby, I want to get pregnant. What do you think?”

There was no way to misconstrue my reaction. My eyes immediately teared up with joy. I almost spilled her wine as I took her in my arms and smothered her with kisses. “God how I love you,” I told her. “No one has ever loved anyone more than I love you.”

She kissed me back with just as much passion as I had kissed her. “I love you too my darling. Shall we get horizontal and start making a baby?”

I picked her up in my arms, something I hadn’t done since our honeymoon, and carried her into the bedroom. I laid her down gently, reached behind her neck and undid the string that held up the small cocktail dress that so amply emphasized every delicious curve of her body. As I slowly and sensually slipped the dress off I found my suspicions of the night confirmed, she was wearing nothing under it. Her magnificent breasts and perfectly smooth mound slowly came into view.

She looked up with excited anticipation as I removed my own clothes and slid into bed beside her. We turned toward each other and lovingly kissed, not once, but many, many times.

Making love was always so special. It was the ultimate expression of my devotion. It was an intimacy shared only between two life partners. To me it encompassed my vows to love, honor, and cherish her for the rest of my life. That night I could feel my heart bursting with pride as well. I already felt like a father as I planted my seed in hopes it would grow.

As it turned out, it would be almost three months before Kris went to the doctors.

Before the age of cell phones the best way to contact someone on the road, like a newspaper photographer, was with a beeper. When mine went off and I looked down and saw our doctor’s number I immediately pulled over and called using a pay phone. The office girl answered, then I heard her call my wife’s name and tell her, her husband was on the phone.

“Honey,” Kris said all excited, “you’re going to be a father!”

My heart almost jumped from my chest. I couldn’t even talk, I just stood there with the phone up to me ear.

“Honey? Are you there? Did you hear me? You’re going to be a daddy!”

“Ye…Yeah honey, I heard you, I…I just can’t talk, I’m too flabbergasted, I…I can’t believe it, I’m really going to be a dad, you’re a mom, we are a family honey, Oh my God,” by now I had tears in my eyes, “Honey, I love you so much, so much.” I was completely choked up and starting to sniffle. Kris could hear it through the phone.

“I love you too honey,” she said, “You’re going to be as great a dad as you are a husband.”

“Honey, listen, I have two more assignments and then I’m done for the day. I’m going to see if they’ll let me go a little early. How about a nice romantic dinner out tonight. I still owe you one. You pick the place, anywhere you want to go, honey, anywhere.”

“My darling you read my mind,” she said, “how about the little Italian place on Sheridan road overlooking the lake?”

“I’ll make the reservations as soon as I get back to office,” I said. We said our happy good-byes and I immediately stopped off for some cigars.

Later that night we ate Italian cuisine with our forks in our right hand while we held hands across the candle lit table with our lefts. A little later we enjoyed an after dinner wine and watched as a big yellow moon seamed to rise from edge of Lake Michigan. Our waiter asked if we were newlyweds. I said no but I couldn’t help burst with pride as I told him we just got word we were going to be parents for the first time. He congratulated us then surprised us a few minutes later with flaming Cherries Jubilee on the house.

Nine months later, after nervously walking the waiting room floor for more than four hours, a nurse came in and announced the birth of my daughter. She led me into the recovery room to see Kris and the newest member of our happy family.

Kris’ hair was matted against her head from the sweat, I could see she was absolutely exhausted, she had on no make up, she was dressed only in a hospital gown, and she never looked lovelier. She lay with our child in her arms and the biggest smile I ever saw across her face.

“Hi honey,” she managed to say. “We did good.”

“Yes honey, we did good, she is beautiful just like her mother.”

“Would you like to hold your daughter?” asked the nurse with a kind smile.

“May I?” I asked. The nurse reached down and picked up little Brea and gently laid her in my arms. My chest swelled, my eyes clouded as tears of happiness welled up. I had never felt anything like the joy I was feeling at that moment. I guess it was catching because as I looked, both the nurse and my lovely wife had the same tears of joy.

Our apartment was plenty big enough for the three of us so there were no pressing plans for buying a house, until a year and a half later when Brea’s sister was born. We were a family of four and I was truly a blessed man.

It was a couple of months after Catherine, our second child, was born. We had been looking for a home but, so far, hadn’t found one big enough to support our growing family while, at the same time, was in our price range. I was coming in from a day of assignments when I walked into the photography office and smack dab into a blinding flash of light. I stopped in my tracks and blinked my eyes not knowing what had just happened. I heard a voice say, “Now you know how people on the other side of the camera feel.” The spots in front of my eyes cleared to see a gang of the people I worked with.

“Surprise!” I heard someone say from the group. I looked around hoping to find someone who would tell me what the hell was happening.

“Personnel clued us in my friend,” said Terry a companion photographer, “Today marks your tenth anniversary here.”

“Happy anniversary!” everyone yelled as Jenny, the office girl, approached with a cake topped with ten candles.

It looked like we were going to have a party so I thought I’d better call Kris and let her know I’d be home late. When I talked to her she asked how late I would be. When I told her about an hour she said okay but try not to make it much later because George was at the house and wanted to talk to me about something.

I did enjoy myself at the party and walked into the house in a good mood. Company or no company, Kris greeted me in her usual, passionate way.

“I held off dinner until you got home honey, George is going to eat with us if that’s okay. Oh, and one more thing,” she said squeezing me a little tighter around the neck and giving me a second long, passionate kiss, “happy anniversary honey. I wished I’d known.”

“Hell honey,” I said, “I didn’t know myself until the party.”

I walked into the living room. “Hi George, how the hell are ya?”

“Fine as frog’s hair,“ he retorted. “Hey, I understand congratulations are in order. Has it really been ten years? Damn! Time flies when you’re having fun huh old buddy?”

Just then Kris called us to dinner. As usual, she fed Catherine and I fed Brea. George fed himself. After dinner Kris took the girls to get their bath and get them ready for bed. George wanted to talk to me about something so I got us a couple drinks and sat down on the couch.

“Brent, do you know Don Del Notto? He has a little commercial photography studio just off of Ohio street.”

“Ah, I know I’ve driven by the studio but I don’t know him personally, no. Why?”

“Because he’s selling his studio and I think you should buy it.”

“What?” I couldn’t believe George thought I should buy a studio. I was a press photographer.

“Listen to me a minute, Brent. We farm out some of our small product photography to this place. Hell, I’ll bet we give him almost a hundred grand a year shooting the stuff we don’t have time for.”

I didn’t know the first thing about running a studio but the hundred grand a year caught my attention. George continued. “Del Notto has a brother in Vegas who is very sick. Don wants to sell the studio and get out there to take care of him. I was talking to him the other day and you could buy that place for a song. Don just wants to get out and he’s willing to sell the whole business for the value of the equipment.”

“George, I doubt if I could afford it, how much is the equipment worth?”

“Forty thousand dollars.”

“George, we’re trying to buy a house right now. There is no way I could come up with that kind of money.”

“Brent the house could wait another year. I’m telling you, if you let this slip through your fingers you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

Just then Kris came out from putting the girls to bed. She had a small grin on her face. “So what do you think, honey?” she asked.

“Think, about what?”

“Ah, well,” George stammered, “maybe I shouldn’t have but I just couldn’t help telling Kris about the studio. Brent I’m telling you, you just can’t let this go.”

“And what do you think?” I asked looking at Kris.

“I think it’s your decision to make honey, but I heard something about the house as I was walking out of the bedroom. If you’re worried about buying the house, don’t be. This apartment has been just fine for us so far and it will continue to be fine. You have to do what you feel is right, you have to listen to your heart, your head, and your gut. Know this though, what ever decision you make, I will back you one hundred percent. I believe in you my love, I believe you can do anything you set your mind to, so what ever you do, you will have the love and support of this family behind you all the way.”

Wow, I thought as I sat there almost in shock from Kris’ speech, would this really be possible. I had to admit to myself, after ten years of constantly driving around the city at all hours of the day and night, sometimes having to go into dangerous areas in the wee hours of the morning to shoot a fire or some police action, it would be nice to work from one location for a change.

I looked at George who was staring at me with a big grin. I looked back at Kris who, by now, had sat down next me and put her arm around my shoulder, and thought how quickly life can change. I was twenty-eight years old, press photography was the only work I’d ever known and now I was seriously considering jumping into another career. It was scary, but with George’s help and the staunch support of my wife, I didn’t see how I could fail.

“George,” I said looking back in his direction, “I’m not jumping into anything yet but I would like to talk to this guy. I’d have to make sure whatever lease agreement he has would stand and for how long, I’d also have to make sure he’s not going to leave me with a bunch of debt. All outstanding debts would have to be paid before I would accept the keys.”

“Brent my friend,” George said while laying his hand on my knee and giving himself a slight boost as he stood up, “I will get a meeting set up with you and Don. He’s really a nice guy, I’ve worked with him for years. I don’t think you will have any problems coming to an agreement and you’ll find him as honest as the day is long. I’ll call you Monday or Tuesday. I’m sure you can meet right at the studio.”

Kris and I said our good-byes to George then relaxed on the couch holding each other in our arms. Kris knew I had a million different thoughts whirling around in my head. “You know what you need,” she said.

“I know what I’d like to do,” I replied with a grin. I didn’t have to say another word. Kris knew exactly what I meant, I wanted to ravish her body.

“First,” she said, “you need a nice warm bath…along with your own private concubine, that’s me of course, to bathe you. After the bath you’re going to stretch out on the bed and I’m going to give you a massage. I’m going to work on every one of those tight, worried muscles of yours until they’re loose and relaxed. Then I will be the
one doing the ravishing tonight. I am going to suck your cock until its so hard its hurts. Then I’m going to ride that cock until all the worries and all the negative thoughts are a thing of the past. I am going to drain every drop of precious cum and every ounce of strength from your body and when it’s all over, the only thing on your mind will be pure, unadulterated euphoric bliss. How does that sound?”

“Talk, talk, talk,” I said with a big smile, “when do we begin?”

“Right now,” she said standing up and pulling me toward the bedroom by my hand.

Kris did everything she said she would and more. Sometime around two in the morning, she finally cuddled up into my arms with a very satisfied look. A few minutes later we both drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

If Kris’ night of sexual bliss was designed to put me into an adventurous mood, it worked. By the time George set up the meeting between Don and me, I had pretty well decided to go for it. As long as there were no surprises and everything looked good, and as long as I could get a business loan, Del Notto‘s photo studio would have a new sign out front.

And so, ’Brent’s Commercial Photography,’ was born.

Not once since turning the key in the new lock to the front door, was I ever sorry. For the first few weeks George would send me work during the day, then stop over after hours and show me how to light and shoot it. It wasn’t long though, before I was shooting with out George‘ help. I studied hard and even surprised George with more creative lighting techniques I had learned on my own.

One by one I sent the older cameras into the factory to have them updated and reconditioned. In the first year I made a little over a hundred and twenty-five thousand in total receipts. By the end of my second year I was up to two hundred grand and at the end of my third year I was doing over a quarter of Million.

It got so I couldn’t handle everything alone anymore so I first hired an office girl to schedule appointments, keep the books, and just help out in general.

By now my landlord was feeling sorry that he hadn’t raised the rent when I first took over. Del Notto wasn’t doing all that well so he kept the rent low to help him out. Now, however, he realized he left a lot of money on the table. The space was worth easily another three to four hundred a month. I reminded him I still had another two years to go before the end of my lease and he reluctantly agreed.

Then I told him I would make a deal. There were three rooms in the back of my studio that he was just using as storage. I told him, if he would clean them out and rent me the extra rooms I would give him an extra three hundred a month. He was more than eager to take my offer. He got his rent increase and I got the room to expand my business.

Next I had to hire another photographer. He was a young kid straight out of college after getting his Masters degree in photography. He still had a lot to learn but he was a quick study. I had no doubt that he would learn everything I could teach him, then some day go out on his own and take some of my clients with him. It seemed to be the nature of the business.

Over the next few years things seemed to calm down. The business pretty well hit a plateau but we were in a very comfortable spot financially and I had no intentions of expanding anymore, at least not just yet.

My personal life was also cooling off a little. About a year after buying the studio we found our dream house, a four bedroom, three bath Victorian on a three quarter acre lot. The moment Kris and I saw it we knew it was where we would raise our family.

I spent an average of ten hours a day in the studio while Kris was doing a fantastic job of raising our children. Both Brea and Catherine were now in school and I guess the empty house syndrome was taking its toll on Kris. We had always made love at a fever pitch, but lately, it had gone from a hundred and three degrees to about ninety-eight point seven. I supposed, after nine years of marriage and two kids, one should expect something like that.

In another five months it would be our tenth anniversary and I had a plan that would, hopefully, bring our love making right back up to that high fever pitch. Every year we tried to take a little vacation but always with the kids of course. We always had a great time but I was really looking for a nice, romantic get-away with just the two of us.

Yes, I could see the Virgin Islands in our future. When we were there for our honeymoon we rented a little cottage behind the hotel that owned the property. It had a living room, a bedroom, a little kitchenette and it was only steps from the beautiful turquoise waters of the Caribbean.

Of course that was almost ten years ago. The hotel had changed hands twice since then and I didn’t even know if the little hut was still standing. It took me a couple hours and several long distance phone calls before learning the new name of the hotel and the fact that the little hut was, indeed, still standing and was still being rented out. I immediately reserved it for the week of March first the following year. Now all I had to do was figure out what to do with the kids for that week.

I wasn’t about to leave them with my folks. In his old age my dad had lost what little patience he ever had. He would be yelling at them from the time they got there till the time they left. No, my folks were out of the question.

That left Kris’ mom and stepfather but they lived in Colorado. I wondered how they would feel about staying in Chicago for a week? I called and first made them both promise not to mention anything to Kris before asking if they would be interested in babysitting for that week. Since they lived so far away they didn’t get a chance to see their grandkids that often and jumped at the chance. My plan was coming together.

I really wanted to surprise Kris at the last minute with our second honeymoon so I was on pins and needles for the next several months worrying about her parents making a slip, especially around Christmas. They flew out and spent three days with us, but thank God, never said a word to spoil my plans.

I was hoping the holidays would brighten Kris’ spirits some but as soon as they were over she went right back into her slump. Our sex life was suffering even more than before and I was literally counting the days till March.

On February twenty-seventh operation ‘little grass hut,’ was launched. I had arranged for a limo to pick Kris’ parents up at O’Hare and bring them straight to our house. A little after seven in the evening our doorbell rang. The look on Kris’ face was absolutely priceless as she looked at her mother and step-dad standing on our porch with suitcases in hand.

“Hi honey,” said Greg, the man she had known as her father since childhood, “we were just in the neighborhood and thought we’d drop in for a visit.”

Kris screamed with delight and hugged them both. “Ah honey,” I spoke up, “shouldn’t we invite them in?”

“Yes, yes of course,” she responded, “I’m just so surprised to see you guys, come in, please. Gad,“ said Kris still getting and giving hugs, “it’s so good to see you.”

The kids, who were up stairs in their rooms, heard the commotion and came down to see what was going on. When they saw grandma and grandpa they welcomed them with excitement. It took several minutes for things to calm down. I could see Kris was just full of questions but we still hadn’t quite gotten over the greeting stage yet.

Once the initial shock was over I brought refreshments in for everyone. “How did you get here from the airport?” asked Kris. I could tell she had a ton of questions.

“Brent sent a limo for us,” said Audrey, Kris’ mother.

“Brent did,” Kris looked at me with a question mark in her eyes. “You knew they were coming and you didn’t tell me?”

“Honey, if I had said something it would have ruined the surprise,” I said.

Kris smiled at her folks. “Oh, of course, you’re here for our anniversary.” Kris got up from the couch, put her arms around my neck, and planted a big sloppy kiss on my lips. I heard the kids groan.

“Well yes honey,” I said after getting my lips back. I looked into her eyes and smiled. “They’ll be here for our anniversary but we won’t be.” For a second I thought I saw terror in her eyes but I knew it must have been more questions. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the airline tickets. “Happy anniversary,” I said handing them to her.

She looked at them and gasped putting her hand to her mouth. “Honey! Oh my God, we’re going back to the Virgin Islands? Really?” She had tears in her eyes when she looked back up at me.

“Yes darling,” I said almost tearing up myself, “Your folks are going to baby sit for us all week while you and I are lounging on the beach in St. Thomas right in front of the same little hut we had for our honeymoon.”

At that point I think Kris forgot about her parents and the kids. She jumped on me putting her arms around my neck and hanging on while wrapping her legs around my waist before smothering me with a deluge of kisses. That was exactly what I was hoping for, I had my Kris back!

St. Thomas was even better this time than it was ten years ago. For one thing we had more money to spend. Even though the hotel had a new owner it hadn’t changed much. We ate our dinners at the same outdoor restaurant and fed the iguanas from table scraps. During the day we shopped the many specialty stores scattered all over town. We went hiking in the mountains and took pictures of all the historical sights.

One that Kris loved in particular, was a beautiful old tree ancient enough to witness Sir Francis Drake himself as he stood on the high bluff overlooking the bay, just waiting for an unsuspecting galleon loaded with pieces of eight.

The evenings we spent at the outdoor bar we enjoyed last time; located right on the beach, it allowed us to drink our Pina Coladas as the warm tropical waters kissed our toes at high tide.

Of course we did all this in between our love making sessions. I think we probably screwed more than on our honeymoon. Kris was insatiable and I was so happy to have my wife back that I was up for just about anything.

We never even got to sleep on our last night. After a Mai Tai or two we were back inside our hut. Before removing my own clothes, I slowly and sensuously undressed Kris, meticulously undoing one button, one zipper, one clasp at a time.

After getting horizontal, as my wife would say, we lay facing one another and gazed into each other’s eyes. For a brief moment I thought I saw an unfamiliar look, almost guilt, but I knew I was wrong. What would Kris have to feel guilty about?

She closed her eyes as I rained kisses down in all those little areas that drove her wild. I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk the next day but I didn’t care as I brought Kris from one orgasmic episode to another using my highly honed oral skills.

Several times during the night the skin around my cock was stretched so tightly it was painful, only for a little while though, Kris saw to that.

We were like kids again. We just couldn’t get enough of each other. We cared not of the hour, but of our passion for one another. Finally spent we lay cuddled in each other’s arms and kissed goodnight. A few minutes later we both started to laugh as streaks of sunlight broke through the bedroom window. It was time get up.

Kris squeezed my hand as she watch the island getting smaller from her window seat. A lonely tear fell to her cheek. “We’ll be back,” I told her trying to cheer her up, “and it won’t take us another ten years either.”

I guess its true about traveling, no matter how the great the trip its always good to be home. Such was the case when pulled into our drive. The kids were the first to realize our presence and came running out to the car with hugs and kisses for both of us. The grandparents waited just inside the door with big smiles. Just judging by everyone’s mood, I’m guessing everyone had a good week.

Once inside we did a replay of all the welcome home hugs and kisses. Of course we had presents for everyone. Both Catherine and Brea were ecstatic with their seashell jewelry. Kris adorned her mother’s neck with a beautiful, precious stone, necklace, and I gave Greg an expensive gold watch. I won’t even tell you how much I spent on Kris down there, after all, it was our anniversary.

The next day we took Kris’ parents to the airport and sent them back home with our profound thanks. After that things pretty much returned back to normal, everything except our love making that is, it continued to be as passionate as it had ever been on the island.

For the last five years the neighborhood, fourth of July party, was our responsibility. We had a great grill and a good sized back yard so we didn’t mind a bit. Kris really got into sending out the invitations always coming up with some clever gimmick.

I remember the day in late April I came home a little early. Kris was busy cooking with her back to the door and didn’t even hear me come in. Her laptop was open on the kitchen table with a list of the people she was going to invite to the party. Silently I was browsing the list.

“You forgot Rita and Jerry,” I said. Poor Kris jumped a foot in the air. “I’m sorry honey,” I said with a slight chuckle, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Kris was gasping for breath with her hand on her chest. “You scared me half to death, Brent. Don’t ever sneak up on me like that.”

“I’m sorry honey,” I said, “really.”

Kris walked over, now grinning after the initial shock, and gave me my usual welcome home hug and kiss. On the way back to the stove she casually lowered the screen of her laptop. “You forgot Jerry and Rita Anderson,” I said. “You can’t forget Jerry, he’s always the life of the party.”

I seemed to detect a hint of nervousness in Kris’ voice. “They can’t make it this year,” she said. “They’re going out of town that week-end.”

I was legitimately sorry to hear that. Jerry was Kris’ friend before I met him, but he was also a long time friend of mine and was always the comedian. “Oh that’s too bad,” I replied, “Jerry’s always good for a dozen laughs. Remember the Christmas party a couple years ago, he walked around all night with mistletoe hanging from his belt buckle?”

I didn’t think anything more about until the following month. I was on the golf course with the three guys I usually play with. We had all known each other for years. “Hey did you hear about Rita and Jerry Anderson?” asked Gary. “They up and moved to Phoenix or some place our there.”

“What?” I asked, I knew he had to be mistaken. Jerry worked at the airport, had for over twenty years. He loved his job, there was no way he would move. “No, come on, Jerry would never quit his job and just move. You must have heard wrong. Hell we’ve known them for ten years, there‘s no way they would leave without saying good-bye.”

“I’m telling you,” said Gary adamantly, “they’re gone. Don’t say anything, but I heard Jerry and Rita were having problems. I think Jerry was seeing someone else but I’m not sure about that.”

“Okay,” I said, “now I know you must be wrong. Jerry fucking around on Rita? No way!”

“All I know Brent, is that they’re gone. I heard Jerry took early retirement, the house is already sold…the whole ball of wax.”

I still couldn’t believe it. Then I thought of Kris telling me they would be out of town for our party. “When did they move?” I asked.

“About mid March,” said Gary. Mid march? It was almost the end of April when I talked to Kris about them. She must have known by that time that they had moved. I wondered why she didn’t just tell me instead of saying they would be out of town for our party?

Something didn’t feel right. Was Kris hiding something from me? As far as I knew Kris had never lied to me or had she ever given me cause to doubt or suspect her of anything. I’m probably making too much of this, I thought as I stepped up to the third tee and let fly with one right down the middle.

I hadn’t thought anymore about it until the day of the party. Between friends, relatives, neighbors, and all the kids we must have had seventy people all milling around the house and back yard. As usual, I got stuck with grill duty while Kris floated around being the perfect hostess.

I was quickly running out of hamburger buns and had to run into the house to get some more. I opened the kitchen cabinet door and was looking for more buns when I heard my wife from the other side of the wall talking with Jan, one of her best friends.

“So, what did Rita say to you?” I heard Jan ask.

“Shhhh,” my wife shushed her friend, then lowered her own voice so I could barely make out what she was saying. “She told me she would scratch my eyes out if she ever saw me again.”

What? Did I just hear her correctly, I wondered. Rita and Kris were friends, why would Rita want to scratch her eyes out? This didn’t make sense. I was no detective but it didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out something wasn’t right here. I quietly took the buns and left. I had to think. As Holmes would say, ‘the game’s a-foot,’ I had to figure this out.

It didn’t take me long. By the time I got back to the grill I could only come up with one explanation, and I didn’t like it. First, Kris evidently lied when she said they would be out of town. She had to know by that time that they had actually moved. Then Gary heard Jerry was fucking around on Rita and now Kris says Rita wants to scratch her eyes out. It was elementary my dear Watson, Kris and Jerry had an affair!

Suddenly my stomach was tied in knots. I almost threw up on the burgers. I called out for anyone, the closest human to the grill, to please watch it while I went in the house for a little while. I walked right past Kris and Jan who were still talking in the dinning room.

I must have looked sick when I passed because Kris asked if I was okay. I just mumbled and headed straight for the bathroom. Kris came to the door and heard me vomiting. “Brent, are you sick? Are you okay? What’s the matter honey?”

“I’ll be okay,” I yelled through the door, “I just got a sudden upset stomach, I’ll be okay in a few minutes.”

I could hear her concern but told her to go out and take care of our guests. I assured her I would be fine in a few minutes.

Between throwing-up and quietly crying, I had no idea how long I had been in there. Finally I washed my face and tried to look presentable again. When I came out Kris was waiting outside the door. Just as she approached Jan was coming over as well. “Is he okay?” Jan asked Kris.

“I don’t know,” Kris replied looking into my face. With true concern she asked me, “Honey are you alright, is it your stomach?”

I guess I was a little short with her. “I said I’ll be fine, go out and take care of our guests,” I said with an edge to my voice.

Kris and Jan looked at each other. You could just hear the wheels turning wondering if I knew something. “Okay honey,” Kris said anxiously. She and Jan went back out to the party through the kitchen. I just wasn’t able to face people yet so I went up to our bedroom to think. I sat on the edge of the bed and buried my face in my hands.

I had to be wrong, I thought. Like I said, I’m not Sherlock Holmes. I’m sure I’m jumping to the wrong conclusion. There is just no way, no way at all that Kris would cheat on me, and certainly not with Jerry. He was funny, almost clown like, but sure as hell no Don Juan. No, this had to be all a big mistake. Tonight, after everyone is gone and the kids are asleep I’ll talk to Kris, I’m sure she’ll be able to straighten all this out.

After convincing myself I had to be wrong, I actually felt a little better and returned to the party. As soon as Kris saw me she walked over and put her arm around me. “Are you sure you’re okay, honey,” she asked again while reaching up and kissing my cheek.

“I’ll be fine,” I told her again, this time in a more pleasant tone of voice.

The party lasted well into the night with the last of the hard-core revelers making their exodus around nine thirty in the evening. After a very full day, Catherine and Brea were both asleep as fast as their heads hit the pillow. I suggested we also get a good night’s sleep since we had a lot of cleaning up to do the next day.

I knew it wasn’t my imagination, Kris was nervous. I could see it as I followed her into our bedroom. She knew something was bothering me, even if she wasn’t sure what it was. I stood behind her and watched as she sat at her dressing table taking her ear rings off.

“Why would Rita Anderson want to scratch your eyes out?” I asked bluntly.

I saw her freeze. She looked at my image in the mirror. She seemed to be at a loss for words, then I saw tears welling up in her eyes.

“There is only one reason I can think of why one woman would want to scratch out the eyes of another,” I said in an accusatory tone. “A couple months ago you told me they couldn’t make it to our party, then I learn that they moved. Gary tells me Jerry was fucking around with another woman and today I heard you tell Jan that Rita wanted to scratch your eyes out. Please Kris, please tell me the other woman wasn’t you.”

Kris burst out in tears. All of a sudden I couldn’t feel my legs anymore. I half fell and half sat down on the edge of the bed. I just stared at my hysterical wife. This can’t be happening, I thought. My whole world just came crashing down on me and I too started to bawl uncontrollably.

I guess I was the first to recover. “I’m not sleeping with you tonight,” I said angrily while taking a spare pillow from the closet, “I’ll sleep on the couch. I don’t know how this is going to play out, Kris, I really don’t think I can handle this. I’ve never been hurt so bad by anyone in my entire life and especially not by someone who claims to love me.”

“I do love you,” Kris managed to say between sobs.

“Yeah, right!“ I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Don’t bother coming down stairs, I don’t want to see you tonight,” I said. With that I vehemently marched out of the room and down stairs.

Try as I did, after tossing and turning half the night there was just no way I was going to get any sleep. I finally went for a walk. I don’t know how long I was gone, a couple hours probably, but when I got back Kris was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.

“I was watching from the bedroom window when you left,” she said, “I thought I’d make some coffee for when you came back.”

I looked down at the floor and just shook my head. “I don’t believe it. You hear about this kind of thing happening to others but not you…not us.”

“Honey it d…”

“Don’t tell me it didn’t mean anything, don’t you dare say that. It means everything. It means our marriage is destroyed. It means our happy home is gone. It means the woman who promised to love, honor, and cherish me thought those vows meant nothing. Don’t you dare say it didn’t mean anything.”

Kris put her head in her hands and started to cry all over again. I just couldn’t take it. Under normal circumstances my heart would be broken watching Kris cry like that, but at least for right now, it had turned to stone.

I went back up stairs and quickly packed a bag. I didn’t even look in her direction as I hit the bottom stair and headed for the door. “I going to stay at the studio for awhile, I have no idea for how long. You can clean this fuck’n place up by yourself tomorrow, I don’t give a flying fuck!”

I didn’t hear from anyone for three days. Then the business phone in the studio rang. It doesn’t have caller ID.

“Brent’s Commercial Photography,” I announced as I picked it up. There was a short pause.

“Brent, its Greg.” It was Kris’ step-dad and it sounded as if he’d been crying. Hell, I thought, why not, that’s about all I do these days.

“Hello Greg.”

“Son, I…I’m so sorry, I just don’t know what to say except that I’m so very sorry.” He was starting to break down again.

“Kris told you then?”

“She told us the whole story son. She said she had an affair and you found out. Thi…this hurts us too son, I…I just can’t get over it.”
I could hear him crying again, as well as Kris’ mother in the background. I wondered if Kris had any idea how much pain she caused the people that loved her the most.

Just then I heard a familiar voice that sounded like it came from in the room. “Greg where are you?” I asked.

“We’re at the house son, we just couldn’t leave Kris alone at a time like this. Ah, don’t get the wrong idea Brent, we’re not condoning Kris’ behavior in any way, but she is our daughter and I thought it would be better for the kids as well.”

“How are they doing Greg?”

“Well, I won’t lie to you, they’re taking it pretty hard. Kris took all the responsibility and told the kids this was all her fault, but…well, they still keep asking when daddy is coming home.”

Hearing about my kids was making me cry again.

“Brent,” continued Greg, “Kris wants to know if you would consider marriage counseling? I…ah, I’m begging you myself, son. Please, at least give it a chance. I can only imagine how much you must be hurting, but if there’s a chance in hell of repairing your marriage, I pray you’ll take it.

“Why didn’t Kris ask?”

“She didn’t think you would talk to her,” replied Greg.

“Tell her to set it up and call me herself with the where and when and I’ll be there.”

“Oh God Brent thank you, you don’t know what this means to all of us. Thank you so much son. I’ll let her know and have her call you with the details.”

“Okay Greg. I’ve got to go now, I have work to do.” We said our good-byes and ended the call. After several days of trying to sort things through I was no closer than the night I walked out. I did not want to end our marriage but I just couldn’t see how I could not. I prayed a marriage counselor could show me the way.

Less than two hours later Kris called back with a schedule. Her voice was so weak I almost didn’t recognize it. The first session was the following Monday at seven in the evening, four more days away.

When I walked into the counselor’s office Kris was already there. I never saw her look so bad. Her normally luxurious hair was sticking out at the ends. Her eyes were red and had dark circles under them. She was holding a hanky and her hands were shaking. I should feel sorry for her I thought, but I don’t.

I sat down two chairs over from where she was sitting. Our counselor introduced herself. She was a nice looking elderly lady by the name of Betty. She wanted us to use first names, she said, to help keep everything friendly. She wanted Kris to explain how the affair got started and to explain what significance it had in her life.

Kris said it started innocently. When he was working nights, Jerry would come over for coffee during the day and they would joke around and flirt with each other. One day he slapped her butt. She turned around, but instead of slapping his face and telling him to get out, like she should have done, she playfully grabbed his balls.

Kris told the counselor Jerry was always so silly it didn’t even feel like she was cheating. It was more like two kids playing house. There was never any emotional ties between them, one never mentioned love or having any feelings for the other. Jerry acted the part of a clown. He would stand up on the bed after fucking her, beat his chest and do a Tarzan yell.

I listened to as much as I could. This was a bad idea, I thought. Hearing Kris talking about fucking another man was just making me more infuriated. About a half hour into the session I stood up.

“Stop!” I yelled, “stop, please stop. I can’t listen to any more of this.” I looked directly at Kris when I spoke. “It’s not going to work honey, as much as I love you there is just no way for us to get back together. Every time I looked at you, held you, kissed you, I’d think of that bastard Jerry. Darling you couldn’t have hurt me more if you had slowly stabbed me in the heart and twisted the knife.”

Kris looked into my face. Her voice trembled, “I’m so sorry Brent, God I’m so very, very sorry.”

“I know you are Kris, and I know you love me. It’s not even a matter of trust, I doubt very much you’d ever do this again. It’s the hurt. I will never get past the hurt.”

“Honey,” her voice was hoarse from the stress, “my dad said if maybe we could get Jerry to apologize to you. Would that help honey? Dad said he would work at contacting him for me and get him to call you.”

“Jerry!” I could feel my face getting even more red. “If you ever talk to that mother fuck’n son-of-bitch again you tell him for me he better never cross my path because if he does, they’ll take him away in a stretcher.”

I could see the shock on Kris’ face. She’d never heard me talk about anyone like that before, never even heard me use that kind of language before. I continued, “I have never hated a man in my life until now. He robbed me of my happiness, of my very soul. If I thought for two minutes I could get away with it, I’d put a bullet right between his fucking eyes and never give it another thought.”

By the look in Kris’ face, I think she realized the consequences of her, non-emotional, affair. I was a different man. I turned and walked out. As I started down the hall I heard the therapist say, “I’m sorry Kris, there’s nothing I can do, he’s too deeply hurt.”

My body convulsed as another bolt of excruciating torture shot through my chest. I was losing ground and I knew it. My only hope was to get my phone in the house. I could feel the cold breezes getting stronger as daylight was slipping away. My left side was numb. I used all the strength I could conjure up to twist my body onto my stomach. I looked forward, the ten feet between me and the steps to the back porch looked like a mile. I reached out using my fingers as a claw, digging into the frozen ground, and trying to pull myself toward the house.

I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness. “Ooh, look how beautiful,” I heard her, Sandy, my wife, I could hear her voice. “God has his paintbrush out again, and I have the pleasure of watching with the man I love.”

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