Culture Shock Ch. 06

For a moment Elaine wondered where the disappointment was coming from. Maybe she was just annoyed with herself. She was usually meticulously punctual. But it wasn’t like she’d promised to meet him. It had just been a ‘maybe’. Shaking her head, she had a new appreciation for the term ‘wasted’.

Who am I kidding? she wondered. The guy could be a nut. Simone said he wasn’t but who was Simone? Maybe HE was ‘Simone’. Surely no one was that devious. She had to admit it was possible. Elaine decided she shouldn’t feel disappointed at being late. Annoyed at wasting an opportunity to chat with him, maybe. But not disappointed. Was it just plain loneliness she was feeling? Or was it simply curiosity?   And why did he have to live so fucking close?   She felt like a moth to a flame.   “I think she’s still out of it,” Chelsea giggled, waving her hand in front of Elaine’s eyes.   “I’m fine,” Elaine said, stretching. “I’m just not used to smoking pot, I guess.”   “For a second there you looked like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders,” Kendra said. “Come on, Chelsea. She’s okay. Let’s smoke that joint. You coming or crashing, Elaine?”   “Um, I’ll skip. I want to do a few things online. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”   “Okay. G’night. And thanks for the spaghetti, it was great.”   “Yeah. Night, Elaine. Thanks.”   The door closed behind them and Elaine was alone again. Dragging herself over to the chair in front of the computer, she waited while it booted up and connected to the ‘net. Feeling her heart start to thump, she took deep breaths and told herself to calm down.   Relax. I’m not desperate. I’m just kurious.   She smiled as she typed in the chat room URL and logged on.   Again Elaine was greeted by almost everyone there, including MasterServant, who asked if he could speak with her privately almost immediately. “Of course, Sir,” she said, feeling less confident than her words sounded. She thanked everyone for their kind greetings and Sir Tim’s helena winked at her.   She was already blushing before the private message box popped up.   “Hello, Elaine.”   “Hi, Gary. You can just message me. You don’t have to ask”   “All right. Deal. You may do the same.”   “Thanks.”   “Did you enjoy your evening?” Gary asked.   “No.”   “Oh?”   “I slept through most of it. I wanted to come here but I was stupid and smoked some of a joint I found. I fell asleep almost immediately.”   “LOL.”   “Yeah, very funny.”   “I didn’t figure you for a druggie.”   “I’m so not.”   “Well, I’m glad you made it. I’ve been waiting for you.”   Elaine blushed harder. Thoughts swirled and typing suddenly became difficult. “Why?” she fumbled, hesitating before sending the question, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.   “Because I like you.”   It felt like her heart stopped. “But you don’t know me.”   “I know you better than you think.”   With shaking hands, she typed, “Yeah, right.” She had to retype it three times to get rid of the mistakes.   “Okay, let’s see what I know. You can step in at any time and tell me I’m wrong. This is just for fun, right?”   “Um, okay.”   “You are twenty years old and go to college.”   “Public record,” Elaine typed more assertively, though she giggled nervously.   “You have an interest in what goes on in the BDSM lifestyle that is growing daily. You have good parents but they were strict, or at least one was.”   Wow. Yeah, Dad WAS pretty strict.   He went on. “You are a rebel of sorts, but few people really know you. You wish you had friends you could relate to more honestly. You think of yourself as independent, yet you yearn to be looked after. How am I going so far?”   “Um, pretty close.”   “I’m just getting started,” he typed, adding a wink.   Elaine swallowed. “Go on then.”   “You like wearing black. It makes you feel different, but at the same time you can lurk in the shadows, unnoticed. Hmmm… May I take a stab at your personal life without offending you?”   “I don’t know, can you?” Elaine’s mouth was getting dry.   “Touché. I’ll try. Well,” he typed, stretching out the anticipation. “My guess is you are single and haven’t had a boyfriend for a while. As time has worn on, your dreams and fantasies have become more and more extreme. You like to masturbate but you don’t get to do it as often as you’d like. You get on okay with your roommates but you don’t connect with them. You may even be bisexual, find them attractive, and be in denial.”   Elaine’s jaw dropped. He’s gotta be joking. “I don’t remember telling you about my roommates.”   “I’m kidding!” followed a second later.   A clever reply wouldn’t come. She had no idea what to say!   “C’mon, Elaine,” he sent after an awkward few seconds. “I’m just making this up. I have no idea what you might be like or whether or not you are a compulsive masturbator.” He followed his message with another wink.   It made Elaine smile a little. “Sorry. I’m just a bit surprised, I guess,” typed Elaine. “How can you just nail me like that? I mean, I don’t think I am bisexual but I guess I might be. And um,” she hesitated again. “I do like to play… you know, masturbate. And I have been fantasising strange scenarios.” Flashes of the night before crossed her mind and she felt her nipples tingling. They were still a little swollen. “It’s a bit scary that you’re so close to the truth. I mean, I have no idea what you are like.”   “Honestly, they were just lucky guesses. How about you try.”   “I don’t know…”   “Just see where your imagination leads you,” he said, adding a smile.   “All right.” Elaine sat pondering a moment, touching her cheeks and feeling how hot they were. Then she typed, “What about this: You are the urban cowboy type. You always had a desire to live in open spaces, though you grew up in the city. Your parents are ‘laid back’ kind of people who didn’t really mind what you did with your life, as long as you were happy.”   “Pretty close. Keep going.”   “Um… You relied on your own motivation to… go to college?”   “Kind of.”   “Where you studied… um, veterinary science?”   “I wish. Carpentry.”   “Carpentry… but you always wished you studied veterinary science.” Elaine sent a wink of her own. “And let’s see… You worked on building sites and enjoyed it, but now you work on your farm and do odd jobs around town to supplement your income.”   “Okay, this is getting freaky.”   Elaine grinned before continuing. It was fun. “You thought you were in love a couple of times, but those experiences paled in comparison to your dearly departed fiancé.”   “She’s dead to me!” he typed uproariously.   The Soprano’s accent was almost audible and Elaine laughed out loud. Remembering their previous conversation, she typed, “Um, but you were angry and annoyed and confused when she left, though in the recesses of your mind you always thought there was something wrong, though she denied it.”   “Public record.” He added a smiley with its tongue poking out. “Sorta.”   “Let’s see. Oh, and you found out about the lifestyle when you overheard a conversation in a line-dancing bar over a gin and tonic.”   “Ahahahahaaaa!”   “No?” asked Elaine, giggling and visualising him laughing at his desk. “Was it a dry martini?”   “Well, um… No. I’m strictly a ‘bourbon and beer’ kind of guy. Though I don’t mind a good wine now and again. Line dancing is out though, I’m afraid. I’m very much influenced by my parent’s taste in music. Led Zeppelin; Rolling Stones; Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young; that kind of thing. So you wouldn’t find me in a line dancing club.”   “Awwww,” Elaine typed, still giggling.   “Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’re into that stuff.”   “Noooo! No, I was jesting.”   “Good. I’d hate to have to beat it out of you,” he typed, again the winking smiley followed his words.   Elaine had seen that kind of comment in the room before, but this time it made her stop and think. It was also enough of a hesitation for Gary to fill the void.   “Okay, enough kidding around,” he typed.   Elaine’s thoughts stalled. Only one thing came to mind to type. “Yes, Sir.” Yet another moment passed and she wondered what he was thinking.   “Do comments like that concern you?”   “Yes,” she typed before she knew it.   “I imagine they could be a bit off-putting. Okay, let’s make use of this time more constructively. How about a bit of Q & A?”   Elaine was glad for the opportunity. She had millions of questions. The first one was chosen because it was on her mind. “Okay, thank you. Why do people make comments like that?”   He smiled before answering. Elaine wondered if she’d asked the right question. Or at least a good one to get the ball rolling.   “I’d say because it’s an exaggeration, and therein lies the humour. It’s like saying I’m going to get fit by running around the world. It’s funny. Not hilarious, but it’s enough to make people smile.”   “Okay, I get it.” Hesitating with her fingers over the keys, Elaine tried to frame her next question, the one she was dying to ask. Gary must have sensed it because he didn’t fill the void. Finally she typed, “How were you introduced to the lifestyle?”   “An ex-girlfriend introduced me a long time ago.”   Oh .   Elaine for some reason had imagined a more prophetic answer. She swallowed and moved on. “I love your stories. But is it really like that?” Immediately after sending her question, she knew it wasn’t framed well.   And he knew it too. “I’m not sure what you are referring to.”   “Well, you have these kind of idyllic situations, where the Dom and the sub are so ‘in tune’. Is it really like that?”   “I wish. I think it can be when both parties are honest and communicative. I just haven’t found my girl yet.”   Elaine swallowed. “Would you do the things you describe in your stories to ‘your girl’?”   “Sure. But only if we agreed to that course of action. Submitting to a Dom is a huge commitment. You know the words in the old marriage vows? ‘Honour and obey’? They are the pivotal words in a Dom/sub relationship. Once agreed to, many things follow because of them.”   “Can you please elaborate a little?”   “Sure. Your submission, to a particular Dominant, is called your ‘gift’. It’s called a gift because it is something only you can give. It cannot be taken or stolen from you. It is yours and only you can choose when and to whom you will give it. However, once given, you are placing your submissive nature in someone else’s hands, to do with as they please, within reason. You can of course take it back. But that is usually when the relationship ends. It means you have to be incredibly careful and sure of a person before you submit to them. Remember to take your time.”   Elaine was riveted, and hoped he would continue. He didn’t disappoint her.   “When I say, ‘within reason’, I mean safely, sanely, and consensually. Or SSC. You may have seen this noted in the reading you have done. More recently ‘RACK’ is becoming the vogue. RACK stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, and is probably a bit more accurate as a description of ‘what we do’. We go into a scene or a situation with our eyes wide open, knowing what the risks are, and aware of the need for safeguards to protect those involved. We know this stuff is kinky, and we don’t deny it. We just make sure the risks are known and agreed to before we undertake them.”   “The idea makes my skin crawl. No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, it just makes me incredibly nervous. Like, really scared. The whole idea. And yet, I feel like I have this need inside. Is that normal?” Elaine felt like her thoughts were going all over the place. She wondered if she was making sense. Gary didn’t help. Not at first, anyway.   “I don’t know.”   “You don’t know?”   “No. I honestly don’t know what the word ‘normal’ means. If you mean ‘normal’ for a vanilla person, I’d say no, it’s not normal. If you asked if it’s normal for a submissive, I’d say it was completely normal. So it depends on your perspective, not mine.”   “How do I know if I’m a submissive?”   “That is an excellent question.”   “Thank you, Sir,” typed Elaine, smiling at her words. It was getting easier to call Gary, ‘Sir’. She hardly even noticed it until after she’d hit ‘send’.   “I think most wives, and husbands for that matter… okay now I sound sexist. I mean, I think most spouses like to please their significant other. Whether it be making a nice dinner or bringing them flowers or doing something for them so they don’t have to do it themselves. It makes the other person happy, and that’s why they do it. The crucial difference with the submissive person is that it pleases them. It makes them happy to be doing something that makes the other person happy. It isn’t a chore. It actually makes them smile. Or makes them excited.”   Elaine swallowed again, crossing her legs. “You made that clear in your stories. Um, thank you for them, they’re pretty enlightening.”   “They are fiction, and nothing like real life. Well, no. That’s not true. Stories, photos, things like that… they’re like seeing real life in a mirror. Like a two-dimensional reflection of what life is really like. Being there is incredibly intense by comparison.”   “Yes, um… I can sort of imagine.” Trying to return to her thoughts, Elaine typed, “So, to be a submissive, I would have to enjoy ‘doing’ the thing that pleased you, rather than ‘enjoying seeing how pleased you were’ because of it?”   “Not ‘rather than’. The sub would enjoy both experiences.”   “That’s a pretty subtle difference.”   “I agree. It doesn’t take a lot to tip a ‘normal’ (there’s that word again) woman, into submission.”   “What does it take?”   “Good question. Again, I don’t know. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I could hazard a guess.”   “Please do.”   “Well, let’s make some assumptions. Firstly, we are talking about heterosexual relationships here, where the potential submissive is female. Secondly, we assume that most women want one man to satisfy every need that man is capable of satisfying. Thirdly, they want the security of being bound in some way to that man, ie. marriage etc. And lastly, they are willing to compromise greatly if that man is capable of satisfying the great majority of their needs.”   “Sounds plausible. In fact, it’s a pretty succinct description of most of the relationships I’ve witnessed.”   “Okay. Then given these admittedly assumed ‘facts’, then there would need to be a defining moment, a ‘time’, where despite the woman’s (or submissive’s) commitment to these facts, she felt that there was something missing. This ‘void’ in her life is significant enough to cause her to investigate further, sometimes leading her to the door of BDSM.”   “I didn’t feel like that though. It just seemed ‘right’ when I read about it. Well, not all of what I’ve read. I’m really conscious of the ‘consensual’ bit.”   “Good. You should be. Everything that happens should be agreed to in advance. Okay. Let’s talk hypothetically. It might be easier to understand.”   “Okay,” typed Elaine, not at all sure what he might say.   “Let’s say you and I are a D/s couple.”   “D/s?”   “Dominance and submission.”   “Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry.”   “It’s okay. So, assuming we are a D/s couple, we would have come to certain agreements.”   “Such as?”   “Such as, if you were to talk back to me in say, a mocking tone, I would be within my rights to spank you forcefully. Or if you embarrassed me intentionally in company. Or if you hid something I was trying to find.”   “But that might just be a joke.”   “Which is true. And in which case the punishment may be playful, but the joke would need to be obvious.”   “How would I do that?”   “Maybe by winking when you said you had no idea where it was.”   “That’s a bit sassy.”   “It’s called ‘bratty’ in the lifestyle. Which is like, ‘provoking deliberately’.”   “Some subs do that?”   “Sure.”   “Why?”   “Some like to be punished, I guess.”   “I’d hate to be punished. It would mean I’d done something wrong.”   “Good. But this is a little different. It’s like an understanding between the two people involved. A little provocation means a little punishment. And that’s what the sub desires, so she provokes gently. Thus, she’s ‘being bratty’.”   “Okay. I’ve seen comments about ‘brats’ in the room before. I wondered what they meant.”   “And now you know.”   “Yes. Okay. So, given that I’m not being bratty,” Elaine typed, uncrossing and recrossing her legs. “If I just made a mistake, would you punish me?”   “Sure. Perhaps not physically. It depends on the nature of the mistake. Most subs are treated strongly early in the relationship, to reinforce the Dominant’s desire for the submissive to do better, and to reinforce her feelings of submission, which is her ultimate desire.”   “But,” typed Elaine, feeling a little foolish. “Doesn’t it hurt?”   “Yes. As it should. Did your Daddy ever spank you when you were a little girl?”   “Um, yes.” Elaine’s mouth was going dry again. She licked her lips. “Once or twice.”   “Did you ever repeat what you were punished for?”   “No.”   “Case closed.”   “So it’s a punishment, and a deterrent.”   “Yes. And one other thing too. Once punished, if you are contrite-“   “Contrite?”   “Remorseful.”   “Okay.”   “If you are remorseful, and genuinely appreciative of the correction, then guilt is cleansed and you start again with a clean slate.”   “Thankful?”   “Yes. From my experience, the one thing the submissive cannot stand, is ‘indifference’. A Dominant who cares enough to correct her when she is wrong, rather than not caring at all, is one to hold onto. Being thankful for his desire to see you do better is natural.”   “I see.”   “Do you?”   “I think so. I mean, my experience with men is rather limited. But I know what I want.”   “What do you want?”   “I want someone I can respect, who is honest with me and caring. Someone who takes me places I’ve never been before. Someone I can trust.”   “Your expectations are realistic.”   “But I’ve never met anyone like that.”   “Yes you have.”   Immediately Elaine knew Gary was speaking of himself. She swallowed. She wasn’t ready for any of this. It wasn’t that things were moving too fast. The fact that things were moving at all was terrifying, but his confident assertion did nothing to allay her fears. All it did was make her hands tremble and her scalp prickle.   Once again she was dumbstruck.   “Um, someone just asked you something in the room,” Gary typed.   “They did?”   “Yes. Simone asked whether or not you needed oxygen. Send her a tongue poking out.”   Elaine did. It was with relief she realised Gary was letting her off the hook. In the room Simone asked if she was having fun and Elaine replied that it was all very interesting and that MasterServant was a good teacher.   Gary added, also in the chat room, “I’m only as good as my best student.” As other Dominants in the room agreed, Elaine blushed strongly, feeling her nipples throb. Why does he have such a strong effect on me? Would it be the same with any Dom?   She remembered a question and messaged him privately again. “I keep meaning to ask you something, then forgetting. What does your nickname mean? It almost sounds like a contradiction.”   “I am both a Master to my woman, and her Servant. I will do everything in my power to give her all she needs to grow into the role I envisage for her. I will nurture her, and encourage her, I will correct her where necessary, I will adore her for the pleasure she gives me, and I will honour her by my actions, both privately and publicly. It says a lot about me, my nickname.”   “I can see how it makes sense now.”   He sent a smile. “It’s getting late. I hope you don’t have to be up early.”   Elaine checked the time in the corner of the computer screen. She was horrified to see it was twelve fifty-one. “Oh, no. I didn’t realise it was nearly one A.M. I really have to go. I have work tomorrow, then class. I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching the time.”   “No need to apologise, Elaine.”   “Thank you, Sir.”   “You don’t have to call me ‘Sir’.”   “I know.” Elaine sent a smile.   “Thanks again for talking to me,” he typed. “I really enjoyed it.”   “You sound surprised.”   “I am.”   “Why?”   “Because I am. I haven’t talked like this to anyone in months.”   “Like this?”   “Yes, like this. Talking and explaining. And I won’t deny liking you. I won’t deny I know little about you, either. But what I do know, I like, and I’d like to keep talking to you, for as long as we both feel the same.”   Elaine re-read what he’d written, her fingers poised over the keyboard. Taking a deep breath, she typed, “I’d like that too.”   “Good. Then I’ll see you soon.”   “Here?” Elaine asked, immediately regretting having asked. There goes ‘not sounding desperate’, she thought.   “Sure. Just come. I’ll run into you soon enough. If I don’t, I’m sure you’ll find friendly faces.”   Why did he have to seem so much cooler than her? So much more in control. Elaine had been shaking and feeling on edge all night. She wasn’t sure why. Where was this going? She put that question on the back burner.   “Everyone is very kind. Okay, I better get to bed. Thank you again, Sir. I learned a lot tonight.”   “You are welcome, Elaine. Sleep well.”   “Goodbye everyone,” she typed, sending it into the chat room. “I have to get to bed.”   Again the friendly room made her smile with their waves and good wishes, telling her to return soon. She promised she would and she knew it was a promise she would keep. Before leaving, she sent Gary one last message. “Good night, Sir.”   “Good night, Elaine.”   She switched off the machine. Sitting back in her chair, she uncrossed her numb legs and sighed. Her nipples pulsed they were so hard. Looking downward, she realised they were still quite swollen, which would explain the ache. Opening her legs, she made to stand up and noticed she was wet too. Very wet.   I’m turning into a nympho , she thought, then giggled.   There was nothing she could do about it though. Despite her roommates having already gone to bed, a fact she confirmed when she went to brush her teeth, she wouldn’t risk waking them with a masturbation session. Just thinking about being caught made her blush harder. She wondered when next she’d get the chance.   After setting her alarm and lying down in the dark, she was just dropping off to sleep when her eyes jolted open.   Shit! I told him what time it was! He knows I’m in the same time zone!   It took Elaine five minutes to convince herself it was okay. Nothing had changed. She was still anonymous. Should she tell him she lived close by? Surely it would be okay to keep that kind of information private until the appropriate time.   What was it he’d said?   ‘It means you have to be incredibly careful and sure of a person before you submit to them. Remember to take your time.’   She fell asleep with her hands between her legs, promising herself she would.   Erotic dreams tormented her. Once during the night, she’d woken in a sweat. For a moment she thought she couldn’t move. Gary had tied her up and played with her for hours, though in reality it could have been mere moments. He hadn’t let her cum. She wasn’t allowed. In the dream she remembered begging him, more and more urgently, her spine tingling with the desperate need for release.   Making her way to the kitchen for a glass of water, it became apparent she had to make a detour to the bathroom. Her hands were damp and her juices were running down her legs. Her skin was aglow, tingling all over. Her nipples were rampant and she brushed lightly over them once she’d cleaned up.   “Mmmmmm…”   She hoped she could get back to sleep.   She had a big day coming up.