He struggled to find pants that would fit.
His cock was so huge, it was like a third leg,
It dangled around his ankles a bit.
College had been a nightmare, all the girls he had boinked!
He’d not passed a single exam.
So the family business he joined, donning an apron,
Slicing pork chops, rump steaks and ham.
A secret like that though stays a secret not long,
As when socialising, ladies will talk.
Discussing said Billy, over a meal,
Stopping halfway to their mouths was their forks.
“How big!?” they’d exclaim, with genuine shock,
Trying hard, to wrap it around their brain.
Drooling at the thought of his thrusting huge dick,
Pumping like a great diesel train.
When word got around of this marvellous penis,
Girls flocked from afar for a look.
He’d give them a wink and lift his trouser leg,
And invite them out the back for a fuck.
Six women at a time he would have in his chiller,
All there and hungry to fondle his meat.
To have a play, with the worlds largest sausage,
He could convince any woman to cheat.
Suitably impressed, the ladies did seem,
As they played his big wanger like a flute.
And with the cum fountain, that soon erupted,
From balls as big as grapefruit.
At airports he’d smile, when stood in the line,
Waiting for his turn in the queue.
To be discovered with something, stuffed down his pants,
Whisked off to a holding cell he flew.
A scream of terror would sound out from there,
Mid strip search, giving Billy a prod.
Five more officers, all running in,
“Jesus Christ! Mary mother of God!”
Sunny beach strolling, he enjoyed very much,
The sun warming his swinging love member.
Half covered with oil to prevent sun burn,
It didn’t even shrink in November.
As is the case with someone so sexed,
His mind was constantly a mess.
So much pussy he’d had, it was inevitable,
Mistakes would be made, he’d have to address.
On just such a day, as he bid her farewell,
The girl now walking with a limp.
He’d forgot to re-dress and left his pants,
On top of a bucket of shrimp.
In a sexual daze he started his work,
She’d been great but others he’d much rather drill.
When in walked a woman, dressed in a suit,
A health inspector from the council.
“Good God man, what’s this?”, she yelled in surprise,
“Where’s your pants? I can see your arse!”
Billy span round, a vision of shock,
“I should have you thrown behind bars!”
Then she caught sight of his humongous chopper,
The tallywacker straight out of legend.
“On the other hand, let’s not be too hasty.”
His beef whistle she wished to befriend.
“I should report you.” she whispered to Billy,
Unbuttoning her silky white blouse.
“But I want you to give me, what I’ve been missing.”
What she didn’t receive from her spouse.
She studied it closely, squinting her eyes,
It looked like it was joined in the middle.
But that was just, his holiday tan,
It wouldn’t stop her having a nibble.
The shop closed early, that friday afternoon,
He’d been saved by his lucky middle stump.
It could have gone badly, the business shut down,
Except she’d been desperate for a hump.
Saved once more by his lengthy wang doodle,
A lucky man, but he should really detach.
He’d try his best now, to keep his mind on the job,
And not the endless procession of snatch.
Authors Note: Thank you to Buz for the ‘tallywacker’.