3 LOVE DOVE 4 HISSY SISSY by J. R.

[b]3 LOVE DOVE

Roxanne knew Sean would be getting home soon and came over to be there when he arrived. “Shaw-nee-poo! How did it go?”

Straight-faced, “What did you get me into! Those kids are a bunch of belching, spitting terrorists!”

Empathetically, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Sean.”

“Count me out. Call Burt to find another coach. I got a bad migraine.”

Sadly, with a comforting embrace, “Oh, oooh.”

“Gotcha!”

“What????”

With a big grin, cheek to cheek, “Roxanne, I had the time of my life. Thanks Babe.”

Reaching to spank him, “YYYYes! Let’s get inside, Sean. I wanna hear all about it!”

“This even beats hanging out with the guys back in high school.” Then a mischievous thought pops into Sean’s head, so he says it, “This beats hanging out with you!”

“Hold on to your boxer briefs—you beast!” as they wage a tickle war. Eventually Sean wrestles Roxanne to the carpet, pinning her while sitting on her stomach. Lovingly he lays down on her chest, slowly sliding down until his lips meet her lips and his tongue hers. Soon his hips thrust thirstily. Roxanne raises her thighs, one on each side of Sean, encouraging more thrusting. He can’t wait until they’re married. Soon they both gasp for air. After catching his breath, Sean rolls over, pulling Roxanne onto his chest. She assures him, “The day fast approaches when we will shed all our clothing.”

Lightheartedly, “Not fast enough! Good thing I closed the door. Now I have some jim jam to clean up.”

4 HISSY SISSY

Ricky greets Sean at the next practice, “I saw you with your girlfriend—she is hottt stuff. I’d sure like to squeeze those mondo hooters.”

“Hey, watch that! You’re probably stronger than me, at least I wouldn’t want to find out if you are, but that’sss myyyy woooman.”

“Well, she doesn’t exactly hide her fantamastic sssstuff.” Jeff interjects erotically.

A surprised Sean, “You saw her too?”

“Well…. No. Rick The Quick told us all about her.”

Rick retorts, “Shut up, Jeffairy!”

As sassy as Jeff could be, “All the juicy details.”

Rick, really pumped, “Shut up! Seriously, shut up!”

Sean sees a diversion, “What’s this ‘fairy’ crapola? Pick on someone your own size.”

Boldly, “Nobody here is my size.”

With a hand of peace on each of their shoulders, “No, there isn’t. So cut the name-calling.”

Lacking sincerity, “Sir. Yes, sir.”

Fred keeps it going, “Sean, do you have any nude pictures of your wonder woman?”

Trying to stay calm, “No, Fred.”

“Jeez, Do you want to buy some?”

After lots of hooting and howling, Jeff asks, “Can we play another scrimmage today Sean?” The hooting and howling resumes.

Sean seizes this opportunity, “Sounds like you guys like scrimmages. So do I. I’ve worked out a plan. Fred, I want you to catch when the first two squads are up and be captain of the third squad. Ricky’s on your squad and will play third base. Michael’s on your squad and will pitch against the squad batting second. You also have Roy.”

“Jose, you’re captain of the squad batting first. You will play shortstop against the squad batting second and will pitch against Fred’s squad. Jeff’s on your squad and will play second base. You also have the twins. Jerry will catch after your second time up.”

“Jamie, you’re captain of the squad batting second. Clyde’s on your squad and will catch in between your first and second time batting. Karim’s on your squad and will pitch first, then play first base. You also have Alex. After next practice you will vote for three boys who will be captains for the season. That’s why I just picked three different captains for today’s scrimmage.”

When Sean mosies over to third base, “So coach, why did you pick me as first string third baseman?”

Smiling, “I didn’t, Rick The Quick. I only hinted at it.”

Slightly embarrassed, “Man.”

“The fact of the matter is that you have the quickest reaction time on the team and a strong throw. You were born for third. But you play too deep. The dirt is fine for power hitters like Karim and Michael. You should be in the grass for everyone else. With the weaker hitters, I don’t care if you get as close as the pitcher—I hate seeing them get infield hits—unless you have a runner on second base to worry about. Go get ‘um Brooks!”

“Watch that, I’m no girl!”

With gusty laughter, “Brooks Robinson, that is, the best third baseman in major league history.

“Sean, you better mean him!”

Jeff lays down a drag bunt toward the second baseman. Three boys go for the ball with no one covering first base, not that it mattered on this perfect bunt. “Sweet bunt, Jeff. Who should have covered first base?”

After discussing this issue, Sean approaches Jeff, “Sean, I’m honored you picked me for second base.”

“Who? Me?”

Fighting a teardrop in his eye, “Yeah, you!”

“Not me! You’ve got tremendous range, soft hands. You were made for second. Don’t even think of another position. Just learn all the strategies of second base. By the way, who taught you to bunt—if they don’t play in for a bunt you could get a hit every…” Crack! Jose drills one that bounces all the way to the fence. Jeff flies around the bases, but Jose admires his hit before running.

“What did you do wrong, Jose.”

Puzzled, “Wrong?”

“Jose, you see the pitches real good. But after hitting the ball, your job is running like a gazelle, not seeing where the ball goes.”

“Oh. OK.”

“Nice stroke buddy.”

With big smile, “Thanks.” Sean knows Fred has been trying to ignore him. But he also saw his eyes light up when picked to catch first, and his look of total surprise at being selected captain. Yes, a dirty frown followed, but Sean feels hopeful in winning Fred over. Starting to put his hand on Fred’s shoulder, then stopping when Fred backs up, “Oops. I have to remember that you’re uncomfortable with touch. I can tell you’ve done a lot of catching before. You have a strong throw to second base and catch any pitch that doesn’t bounce. You can work on helping a pitcher do his best.”

Obviously appreciative of the complements, he quickly switches to his tough boy image, “How do I do that?”

“Your tough guy personae is great for intimidating hitters, but also tends to hurt our pitchers’ confidence.”

“So you want me to be a patsy with the pitchers.”

“No. That isn’t you. Just add three words to your vocabulary—‘you can do it.’”

Laughing, “That’s four words.”

Happily, “That’s the first time I saw you laugh.”

“Just don’t tell my parents, OK?”

“Maybe I should be asking why, but I won’t. I’m just thankful we had this conversion. By the way, can I see the pictures after practice?”

Laughing, “For a sissy, you’re way cool.”

“I accept the complement. But if you call me a sissy in front of the others I’ll have to make you look like a sissy.”

Surprised that Sean put him in his place, “Fair enough.”

Soon Alex steps up to hit. On the first pitch, Fred calls, “Strike one!”

Alex complains, “That was outside!”

“Shut up you g– d— faggot.”

Sean starts walking toward home plate, as Alex snaps, “It takes one to know one.” Instantly Fred jumps out off his catching position, tackling Alex to the ground. As Fred pins his back to the dirt, he literally sprays vulgar hate speech into Alex’s face. Ricky arrives shortly after Sean, helping him pull Fred off of Alex. Then Sean tends to Alex’s bruises as Ricky keeps Fred away.

Eventually Alex gets super sweet with Sean, so Sean knows he’s feeling better. So he approaches Fred. Fred gives him a look like he’s ready to butt heads. So Sean gets on one knee in front of Fred, looks up into his eyes, and says nothing. Feeling uncomfortable, Fred turns away. Calmly, “Fred, where are you going?” Fred glances back briefly. Firmly, “Fred, stay with me.” Fred forces himself to keep his eyes on Sean. “Thank you, Fred.” Fred feels confused by the power Sean seems to have over him. “Fred, how do you feel about what you said and did to Alex?” Fred burns with anger. He hangs his head down. “Fred, look at me please.”

After a minute of deadly silence, Fred looks up into Sean’s eyes saying, “I’m sorry, Sean.”

Sean restrains his hand from going to Fred’s shoulder, “I’m not the one who needs an apology.” Horror fills Fred’s face. “Fred, whenever you’re ready, you know what you need to do. Are you ready to play ball?”

With a sigh of relief, “Yeah.”

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